User:Bokchoychoy/Picture bride/EpicCarnage12 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bokchoychoy


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Bokchoychoy/new sandbox


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Picture bride

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead in this case is the second section of the actual article and has two updated sentences added with internal Wikipedia links and an added citation. The introductory sentence itself does not really give a clear description of the articles topic. However, the lead section of the original article is not being edited so the first sentence I see here is fine for the corresponding section. The lead section is not being edited here. The lead in the actual article is very concise.

The content that has been added so far is relevant to the topic. The most up to date content to be added is from 2019. I am not super knowledgeable on the topic so I can't say for certain if there is content missing or not but I can say that all the content added so far does belong in the article.

So far the content added is neutral. No claims seem heavily biased towards any position. I don't believe that any questions are over or under represented. The new content added does not try to persuade the reader in favor of any position.

Most of the new content added is backed by what seems to me like reliable secondary sources. From the brief reading I've done in the sources, the content does reflect what the sources say. Again, from what I have read, the content does seem to represent available information on the topic. The most current source added is from 2019 however, the rest are pretty old, most from the 1970s and 1980s. All of the sources added are from a variety of authors. There are only a few links but they do work.

The content that has been added so far is very concise, clear and very easy to read. When reading I did not see any grammatical mistakes or spelling errors. The content added is well organized and is placed where is most appropriate.

No images have been added yet.

My overall impression of the content added so far is that compared to the original, this draft does feel more complete. The content added has improved the overall quality so far. The editor seems to be knowledgeable in the topic so the content added feels strong. Based on what has been done so far I am not really sure how the content added can be improved. It makes sense where it has been added and in some cases, helps clarify sentences better than the original article did. The citations used were a bit dated but I don't know if there is recent information of the same quality as the ones used readily available today so I think they are fine. The only thing I can think of to add would be a picture but I don't know how accessible or relevant adding a new one would be to the overall article. Overall good and relevant additions have been made.