User:Bonkersllama/sandbox

Benedict Sandiford is a British actor who is best known for his role as son Neil on the British sitcom Barbara and for 'Harry Enfield & Chums' in 1997. He also made guest appearances on Heartbeat, Peak Practice, A Touch of Frost, Touching Evil, At Home with the Braithwaites, Pie in the Sky, Cadfael, This Life, Foyle's War, Midsomer Murders and Coronation Street.

Acting Highlights
He played rent boy Alfred Wood in the 1997 film Wilde, alongside Stephen Fry and Jude Law, and starred in the TV drama "Eskimo Day" and its sequel "Cold Enough For Snow", both penned by Jack Rosenthal and also starring Maureen Lipman, Tom Wilkinson, Anna Carteret and David Ross.

He has also written and performed in many local stage projects, mainly about the history of Reading, chiefly his one man production of "The Final Whistle" about the history of Reading FC.

Normal Behaviour
He has two sons, one of whom goes to Crossfields. Bloody Crossfields. The other one's alright for a laugh but is unfortunately a radical communist, and impossible to have a mature political discussion with due to him being a Stalin apologist.

Psychotic Behaviour
It is well known that this individual is a profound cat shitter. To put it bluntly, he takes large, forceful shits on cats. No one is quite sure which screw is loose in his brain, but this habit is not indicative of a normal person. In a joint statement in 2017 both Bupa and the NHS said they were looking into conversion therapy or, as a last resort, Sectioning him under the Mental Health Act of 1983. Please do not allow this man near any feline under your protection, given even the slightest opportunity, he will shit on it.