User:Booyahhayoob/Ohrange

Ohrange is a 2006 American animated film about a crime-fighting cat who battles a band of terrible musicians. The film was directed by Adolf Hitler for the Denver Bread Company. It contains elements of action, comedy, and science fiction, and was created with a mix of traditional soup recipes that would make grandma proud. This is the first feature-length film based on a weird dream that somebody had, followed by Let's Go to the Bookstore and then Grab Some Dinner in 2012.

Plot
George W. Bush is a high-school cheerleader and world-famous Bushism creator, and Dick Cheney is his face-shooting sidekick. The film begins at the start of a new school year, when Flagellum McGee (Arthur Darvill) and his family move to Finland, leaving his best friend Emmy Xian (Jennifer Lawrence) behind in America. With help from her pet rock with googly eyes glitter-glued to it, Emmy follows her friend to the airport, and attempts to stow away on the plane but gets kicked out.

Shortly afterward, Emmy is walking home from the airport when she walks right into some dude who is walking in the opposite direction. He introduces himself as Luke Valo, a foreign exchange student from Finland. Emmy decides to befriend him in the hopes of hitching a ride to Finland. Meanwhile, Emmy's older sister Alix (Billie Piper) moves out of the house, and Mr and Mrs Xian decide to rent her room out to a talking fish from outer space, but after Emmy's cat, Smedley Dickstein, eats the fish, the room is left vacant again. One day when Emmy wakes up, she goes into the room in search of some socks, only to find that Luke Valo is there. It turns out that Emmy's parents have now decided to be his host family while he is in the USA.

Seeing Smedley Dickstein's murder of their comrade as an attack, the entire race of talking fish from space decide to launch an attack on Earth, but none of the characters are aware of this so don't do anything. When billionaire Freddie Huhums (William Roache) traps himself in the web of deadly laser beams that guard his vault, Luke and Emmy break into his house and change his desktop background to some porn. After bonding during this incident, Luke kisses Emmy but then tells her that he has to return to Finland, and so they spend the night at Huhums' mansion, watching weird television shows and cooking up asses. However, Huhums breaks free not long after Emmy and Luke finally fall asleep, and sets the house on fire in the hopes of killing them, knowing that nobody would suspect him or intentionally burning down his own house. However, Huhums is being surveyed by policeman Karl Chester (Thomas Gibson) who sees the entire incident and arrests Huhums. However, since Emmy and Luke were breaking and entering, he arrests them also, however they are both bailed out of jail by a mysterious benefactor.



By Friday, the space fish are ready for an attack, but decide to wait a week so they can see the second part of the television episode that they watched last night. Meanwhile, Luke has to return to Finland, but gives Emmy the option of going with him, which she accepts. On the plane, they fall asleep, and when they wake up they find that the flight has been hijacked by terrorists. However, Luke shoots the terrorists in the eye with the bow and arrow he had been hiding in his backpack, and the flight lands safely in Helsinki. Luke plans on returning to his hometown of Uusikaarlepyy, but Emmy holds him at gunpoint and forces him to hail a taxi to take them to Kristiinankaupunki, where Flagellum is living. They eventually arrive, and find Flagellum in a store, desperately trying to order in ice cream in Swedish. They run in, and Luke tells the shopkeeper the order in perfect Finnish while Emmy gives Flagellum a huge hug.

The reunion is cut short when the shopkeeper opens her large mouth and attempts to eat Flagellum's face off. They run all the way to Flagellum's house, only to find that Flagellum's mother and little sister are in the living room, eating Flagellum's dad's face off. They run back outside, but end up tripping over the corpse of a faceless mailman in the front yard, and are still writhing in pain on the ground when Flagellum's next door neighbour, Mrs Järvi, come to eat their faces off. However, Luke ends up shooting her in the eye with his bow and arrow, and she explodes all over the sidewalk. Several cats crawl out of the sewer and start eating her remains, and it is at this moment that they realise that she was a fish, similar to the one that Emmy's cat killed. They also realise that it is only women who have become the fish, and are only trying to eat the faces of men, as evidenced by the fact that all of the fish-women they have encountered so far have only been interested in Flagellum and Luke's faces, but not Emmy's. They are congratulating themselves on working this out when Flagellum's little sister Amberlynn comes out of the house, and starts eating Flagellum's face off. Luke ends up shooting her in the eye with an arrow, but not before she has devoured her brother's entire face, killing him in the process. Emmy begins to cry because her best friend is dead, and Luke shrieks and turns into an eighteen foot high cat, and goes on a rampage, destroying the town and killing most of the fish women in the process. Emmy sits in the yard, shocked by the fact that one of her friends is dead and the other is a massive cat, and eventually Luke comes back to her, in human form, and tells her that he is not who he thinks she is.

He explains that he is actually the Norse god Loki, and had befriended her because he knew that she was the key to stopping the talking space fish from taking over the world, but accidentally fell in love with her in the process. Emmy ignores his declaration of love and asks why she is supposedly the key to stopping the fish, and so Loki explains that it was her cat killing the fish that was staying in Alix's room that triggered the attack, and that the only way to save the Earth would be to go back in time and stop that from happening, but that the event he would have to change to do that would prevent them from ever meeting. Emmy says that although she enjoyed her time with Loki, she would be willing to sacrifice it to save Flagellum and the rest of the world. Loki does some magic sort of thing, and he and Emmy arrive on the day that Flagellum's family were supposed to move to Finland, and ends up brainwashing both Emmy's and Flagellum's parents into letting him stay in Alix's room instead of going to Finland, therefore making the room occupied when the fish inquires about staying there, and meaning that Emmy never goes to the airport and therefore never meets Loki while walking home. Loki ends up wiping Emmy's memories of him, and she carries on with her life as if they had never met. The end of the film, set three years after this incident, shows Emmy and Flagellum, who attend the same university and are in a romantic relationship. They go out to dinner and Flagellum proposes to her, and she accepts. However, it is shown that in the taxi on the way to the restaurant, Emmy was reading a book about Norse mythology, and at the restaurant she mentions that she very much dislikes fish but has no idea why, leading the audience to believe that she was affected in some ways by the incident.

Cast

 * Jennifer Lawrence as Amelia "Emmy" Xian
 * Arthur Darvill as Franklyn "Flagellum" McGee
 * Unknown Artist as Loki/Luke Valo
 * Billie Piper as Alix Xian
 * William Roache as Freddie Huhums
 * Thomas Gibson as Karl Chester
 * Socks Clinton as Smedley Dickstein
 * Dakota Fanning as Amberlynn McGee
 * Julianna Margulies as Mrs Järvi
 * Edie Falco as Mrs Xian
 * Gerald Urquhart as Mr Xian
 * Anna Jullienne as Mrs McGee
 * Michael Sheen as Mr McGee
 * Chris Noth as terrorist #1
 * Craig Parker as terrorist #2
 * Taylor Momsen as the shopkeeper

Trivia

 * Fleur Saville, Billie Piper, Stefani Germanotta and Beth Allen were all considered for the role of Emmy, which was eventually given to Jennifer Lawrence. Billie Piper went on to play Emmy's older sister Alix in the film.
 * Rebecca Black was considered for the role of Amberlyn McGee.
 * Despite their Asian surname, the entire Xian family are portrayed in the movie as having pale skin and blonde hair.
 * The mysterious benefactor who bailed Emmy and Loki out of jail is never identified in the film, but executive producer John Barrowman has stated in interviews that Loki did this using time travel.
 * In the film, the shopkeeper was wearing a nametag that read Gracelyn, but in the credits she is credited as Marja.
 * Although the film is set in the United States and Finland, it was filmed entirely in New Zealand.
 * Neither Emmy or Flagellum are referred to by their real first names, but they are listed in the credits as Amelia Xian and Franklyn McGee, respectively.