User:Boss Yoda/sandbox

Bacon Doves on Steroids & Mini Wookitaurs
The bacon dove (hammius-birdiless) is exactly what it sounds like, a dove made of bacon. It flies through the air and if you stick your head out the window of a car moving 120mph on a crowded highway, you might be lucky enough to catch one. It is rumored that it tastes like Christmas (imagine the feeling of Christmas in your mouth)with bacon. However, this magically delicious taste comes with a price. Several have died from either being stupid enough to stick their head out of a moving car going 120 on a crowded highway, or the bird beat the tar out of them for attempting to eat them (don't forget, they are on steroids). A safer method would be to capture one in a corn field (where they usually eat). Bringing a gun is recommended but there still is a chance the bird could still beat you up as they have a temporary resistance to bullets.

Bacon doves live primarily in the northern region of Indiana and Illinois. Males usually range from 200-250lbs and are usually about 5 feet in height. Females range from 180-230lbs and are usually 4ft 7in in height. Bacon Doves diets mainly contain corn (why they usually are found in Indiana). They are known for sneaking onto farms and eating entire fields. The only known predators who eats bacon doves are mini wookitaurs (a rare cross breed between a mini minotaur and a wookie). Some farmers have taken mini wookitaurs (bigusassius-dogius) out of the wild as pets to help keep their crops safe. Many of the farmers have been attacked or killed by them. Remember, they are wild animals and should not be kept as pets unless they are domesticated or under the care of a professional. If you ever are in an encounter with a mini wookitaur, rub their bellies. They may become friendly. If not, remember that many mini wookitaur taurs hate jarjar sauce and are even more allergic to Jar Jar's boss. Always keep a jar of jarjar with you when in the woods of the Midwest, particularly at night (their hungers are nocturnal).

Consuming bacon doves do have some health benefits. The meat can cure the common cold. The blood also has several important vitamins. Scientists are also looking into how it could produce the elixir of life. "If it's giving people meat, then I'm on board. I've always said Humans need more animal blood. It keeps the spine straight," says Surgeon General of the United States, Nazi Dr. Leo Spaceman.

Snark
A snark (sharktus-laktus) is a rare breed of shark that has been genetically modified to have a sarcastic, witty, smart butt sense of humour. The breed was created by and named after bio-scientist Tony Snark, CEO of Snark Industries and distant relative of Iron Man, with help from Dr. Prof. Ender Einstein, a world renown German scientist for inventing a functioning lightsaber and son of Heidi Einstein, another German scientist who discovered a revolutionary brake though that helps helpless German students learn the German alphabet and daughter of Albert Einstein, yet another German scientist who created his theory of relativity and other amazing things. (Man, those Germans sure are great at science, ja?)

Anyways, Tony wanted to create a shark that you could talk to and make jokes with (for reasons no one knows). So, he asked Dr. Prof. Einstein to help him create a shot that will make animals learn to have the ability to speak and act like humans. After being successfully tested on a dying yellow Labrador, creating Gwyneth Paltrow, Ender and Tony captured a great white and injected the solution into it. Tony then taught it to speak, read, and write, and had it watch episodes of 30Rock. He then did the same with a shark of the opposite gender and released them to the waters of Lake Michigan to populate.

Snarks are educated, well read, and have often been accused of being "Grammar Nazis" for their obsessive compulsive grammar-correcting-disorder, or OCG. They change colour based on mood: happy-red, angry-scarlet, sad-crimson, and scared-vermilion. Be sure not to get into an argument with scarlet snark or they will verbally stab you literally to death. Luckily, when the snark has cooled down, it will use it's magic to resurrect you and apologise. Other than that, snarks can be hilarious companions.

Snarks live solely in Lake Michigan. The current population is very small, 18 or so, but since they have no predators, they will easily populate and move to the Atlantic as well. Snarks eat floating garbage (another alteration Tony added to help keep waters clean), oil, and the occasional mini wookitaur that wanders into the lake. Snarks love to talk to people and each other and love telling jokes.

The Manotaur
The Manotaur (flordis-teesus) is thought to be the last of a species in the same family of the minotaur, except, it has characteristics of a manatee. It stands upright like a man (but also can swim under water for several hours), hooves and horns like a bull, and manatee flippers and head. Wearing a black suit and tie, it haunts the shores of Florida, similar to the Slenderman. It stalks and captures people alone on the beach at night and sinks large boats. It hunts you with glowing red eyes and moans like a whale. It can teleport from place to place and has octopus tentacles that help capture it's prey and drag them to the water to drown.

Krakologists and Releasing the Kraken
A kraken is a sea monster resembling an octopus. They lurk in the ocean and sink boats. A select few kraken worshippers, or Krakologists, can influence their internal soul kraken to portrude from their rectum and attack. One would simply have to yell "RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!" This is usually followed by an ear-splitting scream as this causes excruciating pain. Krakens are very large, 52-60 meters or 160-200 feet in length. The releaser will likely die after such a traumatic event.

Please note that nothing on this page is factual. Snarks, bacon doves on steroids, krakologists, the Manotaur, and mini wookitaurs are all fictional creations of the imaginations of two middle schoolers and posted onto Wikipedia for laughs. If you've stumbled upon this page, I hope you had a good chuckle. If you were told to go to this, you are likely to be another middle school student, so I TOLD YOU I DID IT!