User:Bottleofpone

I am a bottle of pwn.

If you would like to know what this means, I would be happy to tell you.

Bottle of Pwn
A bottle of pwn (pronouced "pone," rhymes with "own") is the opposite of a bottle of fail. If you consume a bottle of pwn, you will be granted any powers or wishes you want. A bottle of pwn will enable you to completely and totally own everyone else. You can say whatever you want, do whatever you want, with no one to stand in your way or tell you they disapprove. However, there is one exception to this rule, and that is the confliction of bottle of pwn drinkers.

Confliction of bottle of pwn drinkers
In the very rare instance that two people who have both consumed bottle of pwn meet and try to pwn each other, the time space continuum shuts down. Time stops completely, except for those two people (unless there are somehow three people (see wtf). Then, they both magically conjure one bottle of fail each.  They must then proceed to try to trick the other person into drinking a bottle of fail.  They both temporarily lose their bottle of pwn powers in this instance.  As soon as one of them drinks the entire bottle of fail, they die immediately. Time then restarts.

Bottle of Fail
A bottle of fail is an object, person, idea, or situation that does not live up to the standards set for it by any arbitrary source. A bottle of fail is the ultimate potion of failure. If you consume a bottle of fail you will immediately fail at everything, with the exception of failure, of course. This is kind of hard to understand, but it is irrelevant, because you will fail to understand it anyway. There are several criteria which you can use to see if you have consumed a bottle of fail.

1. Inability to succeed at anything whatsoever (pretty obvious). 2. Lack of motivation and self awareness. Some people with this criteria are failing so badly their brain has decided that they do not even exist. (In very severe and advanced cases of failitis, the person can no longer physically see themselves). 3. Lack of self-confidence. 4. Inability to recognize normal speech and language. 5. Attempted suicide (but failed). 6. Death.

Do not drink a bottle of fail. Be careful not to drink a bottle of fail disguised as a bottle of pone. If you suspect you have consumed a bottle of fail, do nothing. Try not to find a bottle of pwn, because you will fail in your attempt to not find a bottle of pwn. This means you will somehow obtain a bottle of pwn. However, you will fail at drinking it, and probably die trying. Therefore, if you drink a bottle of fail, just lay down and go to sleep. --Bottleofpone (talk) 03:59, 30 March 2008 (UTC)

The Creator of This Page
The Creator of this page apologizes to the world in general that he was "just a bit dizzy" while writing. He does not,in fact, believe tangible items, namely the "bottle of fail" and the "bottle of pone" exist. If one were to come upon an example of the above, the Creator would greatly appreciate if he were told about the incident. To learn more about the Creator, visit [Fail].

Creator of the Above Article
The Creator of the article above is a perfect example of a bottle of fail. He has all the characteristics of someone under the influence of fail. Number one, he is clinging to the last hope of making fun of someone else to gain confidence in himself. This fits into criteria 3 of failitis syptoms (see above). He or she may even be as far advanced as the 4th criteria, which, as we know, is the inability to communicate properly with normal speech. So please politely and humorously ignore the confused writer of the above article. He or she has most likely consumed the dreaded bottle of fail, and I do feel for them. However, if you would like to learn more about the writer of the above article, please visit the user:BottleOfFail page, and specifically read the article "Bottle of Fail." Thank You. --Bottleofpone (talk) 03:59, 30 March 2008 (UTC)