User:Bozwasere

The Bozatron (AKA BOZ) is a species of unexplained life form that was founded in 1704 whilst German traveller Heimlich Vertrite was on a expedition through the Congo. Although still existing today the life form has developed in to what appears to be a semi human cross algae form. The latest sighting documented was that of a small large headed hobbit like creature that has beady eyes and a protruding belly. The interesting thing about the evolved Bozatron is the walk and the voice, the voice is very closely linked to old English with a hint of cling-on. The walk however is that of a pregnant meercat cross mongoose. We believe the evolvement has occurred due to prolonged watching of lock stock and two smoking barrels and reruns of Marry Poppins. The Bozatron tends to be a creature of habit, if seen in public, can often be confused with a 'Chav' or 'Vagabond' due its dress attire. The survival of these rare creatures rely primarily on selling dodgy goods such as moody gold, vape juice and diluted green stuff. Legend says that the BOZ is attracted to area's that have cash converter and CEX stores, this is due to the nature of the selling dodgy goods policy they have. The mating ritual of the BOZ is quite simple, it will approach a person in just its tight pants, make some grunting noises and proceed to absorb copious amounts of Stella (other brands of consumption tend to be special brew or a Pimms). The mating act its self is one of the most interesting things about this creature, it currently hold the intercourse record for fastest start to finish which is a staggering 3.9 seconds. The eating habits of the BOZ is somewhat similar to Jabba the Hut. It literally devours anything that is not healthy, it literally survives on takeaways and food that resembles baby shit. Evidence of these meals are often displayed on Whatsapp groups. The BOZ is due for extinction due to its poor diet, and unhealthy lifestyle, the BOZ has zero exercise routine even though the BOZ believes running a benefit scam is a form of cardio. More research is being done to determine what sort of intelligence this creature has because up to know it is somewhat similar to a block of wood. If you see a BOZ be aware that it is easily startled and tends to appear larger than it is due to its Chuck Norris walk, unlike Chuck Norris the fight stories of the Bozatron are completely unfound and not true, although they do make for good entertainment. The BOZ will often claim to have killed several monsters in its time as a name but mostly gets chased by little girls on bikes (rumour has it that in all his conflict encounters the perpetrator was carrying a knife or a gun, later evidence revealed that these were in fact the kids lollipops). As this creature is still fairly unknown we shall continue to investigate and display findings on here at a later date.