User:Braeden Ewuk/Widgeon Valley National Wildlife Area/Lomsefil Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Braeden Ewuk, Tjmukuro, Trustham02, BraedonLW


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Braeden%20Ewuk/Widgeon_Valley_National_Wildlife_Area?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Widgeon Valley National Wildlife Area

Evaluate the drafted changes
Overall, the article has detailed ecological and geographical information about the Widgeon Valley. I especially enjoyed how the article specified the protected area to be a wetland ecosystem. Wetland ecosystems tends to be quite sensitive to natural disasters and it was interesting to read how it has been able to be protected. The opening passage is without a header, and it took me a couple of reads to understand how everything is related. A lot of the information of the first paragraph is about background information and the social context, I think a header that summarizes the paragraph content can make the flow more cohesive. I am also not sure where exactly the Widgeon Valley is in BC and I don't think it was mentioned, I think including geographic references can help the reader connect information about adjacent areas better if there is a reference. There is a geographic reference in the original article, and it can be incorporated in the background paragraph?

The following paragraph being about fauna felt misplaced and perhaps can be moved to its own section, If you are planning to go more in depth with flora species in the area too, this can be a good way to group them together in one section separate from the opening paragraph. There is good ecological information about the species in the valley, but there are some sentences that shift the focus to another geographical area. I noticed that there is a sentence that talk about these species in other geographical areas such as Western Screech Owl in Metro Vancouver, though it shows how vulnerable the owls are, it shifted the geographical focus from the Widgeon Valley. I think the last paragraph of Wildlife and fauna can be more intertwine with each other as both paragraphs contain ecological information about species in the valley.

The Human Activity section talking about Indigenous ways of using the land without separating it into a subheading was quite refreshing. I often see this topic grouped to be under a subheading of traditional usage of the land. It presented the information to be part of history and often this history is othered. The writing was concise and relevant to the area and had nice flow! Though subheadings may help in sectioning the body paragraphs I liked that it was structured like a timeline of how the land usage of the valley changed overtime.