User:BrandenBolte/Better Luck Tomorrow/Jameshl8 Peer Review

Honor Roll Murder

 * I would change the beginning of the first sentence to just "There are similarities to the Honor Roll Murder..."
 * [Also similar was speculation of the Tay Family's private investigator suggesting the murder was influenced in part because "(Stuart Tay) was dating a girl who had (rejected) one of the suspects (Robert Chan)."]
 * i would specify what you mean by similar in this sentence; is the speculation similar to a speculation made in the film about a private investigator in relation to the family?
 * I think you can explain the situation with the Tay family outside of quotes? I'm not sure though I'll have to look over the training module on quotations / paraphrasing

Review


 * i think this is a good edit in that it explains further what the wikipedia article says, in terms of the movie being loosely based off of this murder. It explains what the murder is to give a better understanding of how and why these similarities could be drawn.
 * just some specifications for clarity might make it better but the edit stays neutral and informative -- good work!