User:Brayan Hernandez Barragan/Mickaël Bethe-Selassié/Brittanylutge0 Peer Review

General info
Brayan Hernandez Barragan / Mickaël Bethe-Selassié
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing User:Brayan Hernandez Barragan/Mickaël Bethe-Selassié
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists) User:Brayan Hernandez Barragan/Mickaël Bethe-Selassié

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:


 * The lead is updated with new content and includes a good introductory sentence. I would mainly just change the structure of the sentence, “Mickaël Bethe-Selassié (Born February 15, 1951) was an Ethiopian sculptor who was characterized by his works and colorful representations often made with papier mâché”, then perhaps stating where he was born in an Early Life section.


 * Presently, the lead does include a description about his artwork which is seen as a section in the article. I can see it mentions who he was, what he was recognized for, as well as description of characteristics/inspiration within his own artwork which is good. I believe the lead is also appropriately detailed. At the moment, it does not include information that isn’t present in the article. The lead is appropriately detailed.

Content:


 * The content added is relevant mainly to the backstory behind his works, meaning where the artist was coming from when making his work as well as his style. I would say one source is up to date (2020), so if there’s any other sources that reflect any of his work beyond the year 2000 could be helpful in keeping it up to date.


 * For content that’s missing within the artwork section, I think visual analysis or photos of his artworks would be helpful here, just to give an idea of what kind of pieces he created as well as any specific characteristics seen in those works that make up his style. Also, did those works direct something? Was it an event, a feeling, etc.? Those things could be helpful in seeing why the artist did what he did and why he felt connected to Ethiopian culture/the French art scene.
 * I believe the article does deal with the equity gap, as it touches on Ethiopian culture and their characteristics of art which I do not see represented enough.

Tone and Balance:


 * Overall, the content is neutral. The sentence “Some came to criticize his work for describing it as primitive when the reality is that Bethe-Selassié's work was more sophisticated than many thought” seems a bit biased without any context. I see the details after the statement, but I feel like sophisticated is a more biased word to use. If it was more sophisticated, who deemed it that way? Aside from this, there aren’t any claims that appear heavily biased toward a particular position.


 * A viewpoint that may be underrepresented includes that the sentence stating, “Having lived so many years in France he allowed his art to be influenced by everything that the French art scene of that time represented.” What did this include in terms of the French art scene? If it is the section about preparatory sketches, I would change the sentence structure a bit to “He frequently did not use preparatory sketches or models for the creation of his sculptures, as he wanted to work with his materials in the most direct way possible.” so there isn’t much of a disconnect between the two ideas.


 * Also “...in addition to having the mixture of multiple colors where details of Ethiopian culture can be appreciated” I’d add appreciated by whom and why so? Other than this, the content is not persuasive.

Sources and References


 * The content is backed by reliable sources. The first source speaks on where he was born so I would add that as well. Also, the first source touches on some of his earlier life so I’d include that in a section too. Although, Tthe second source doesn’t really speak on how he was recognized by paints and reliefs or his interests. It shows an example of work, but not exactly why he was recognized so I would switch that if possible. I couldn’t access the third source, but the fourth source is good!


 * The first and last sources are quite thorough. The first source is current, although the last sources are from 1994-2000. All of the sources do come from different institutions as well as different cultures (like one from France, and one from African Journals). The third link I couldn’t access the article.


 * Here are some sources I found could be helpful:

https://africa.si.edu/exhibits/passages/selassie.html?lan=ifrqgrlk

http://www.grand-baz-art.fr/en/mickael-bethe-selassie

https://www.art.state.gov/personnel/mickael_betheselassie/

https://www.proquest.com/openview/711e6719e290a2e8fb7a02fbdb2cb1cd/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=35901 - about Ethiopian art

Organization


 * The content is clear and easy to read.


 * For grammatical or spelling errors there are just a few sentences I’d deem incomplete:

“Mickaël Bethe-Selassié, born on February 15, 1951 in Ethiopia.”

“Extensive knowledge of scientific subjects where his interests were reflected in history, chemistry, physics and even anthropology.”

In terms of perspective:

“In his works you can observe the presence of people where with the tones of paint, the varied use of his materials and the exalting use of colors he was able to create carnivalesque figures.” - I would omit "you can observe". Something along the lines of "His presence of people combined with his use of materials and exalting use of colors created carnivalesque figures that can be observed in his work".

“Upon his return I sought to demonstrate his knowledge and understanding of the arts of Ethiopian culture through the great experience that he was able to appreciate in the diaspora.” I would omit the “I sought to". Also, "Upon his return" could be prefaced with context.

In terms of grammar:

“What he achieved with this technique was that his works had a sympathetic feeling and very close to the surrealist aesthetic.”

“Recognized in countries such as France, Brazil, South America, and the United States, he achieved that his style described as fun and outstanding came to stand out in highly renowned museums.”


 * Other than this, the content is well-organized, just would add more early life and artwork examples also anything about present day. I see in the original article he has passed, so including that is important as well.

Images and Media: N/A


 * The article is supported by at least 2 reliable sources. The references list is quite short, so I do think there are more resources out there with some more information in regard to him, if not maybe in relation to his culture. It does include section headings, just needs more context in relation to his overall history. The article does also link to other articles.

Overall impressions:


 * Overall, the content added does improve the quality. The lead is great and includes information about who he is, his artwork, and his inspiration deriving from Ethiopian culture which I think are all important aspects to introduce the artist. I think you did a great job there. The things I would include is artwork analysis, as well as a bit more about his early life, just to kind of know a bit more about him, or if you can find anything about his training or education or anything about his time in France as well as Ethiopian influence on his own art. Other than that, the artwork section has some great context! Good job!!