User:BreVermilion/Dora Tamana/Gracie568 Peer Review

General info
Username:BreVermilion https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BreVermilion/Dora_Tamana https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BreVermilion/Dora_Tamana
 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead: - There is no lead so be sure to add one. It goes straight into Dora Tamana early life so there was no way to know what the article was going to be talking about specifically.

Content: - The content added was good and relevant to the topic. It gave me an insight in how Tamana got to be politically involved and what led to her to be involved in all those programs and become such an activist. I learned about her early life, her journey during her career and even her personal life as well. Everything that was stated was all related to the topic and was insightful. The content added is up to date. Since Dora Tamana is a woman, this topic is related to historically underrepresented populations.

Tone and Balance: - The tone and balance was good, nothing sounded biased instead it just sounded like a narration and simply just someone stating facts. No viewpoints were overrepresented or underrepresented, the tone was kept neutral throughout the whole bibliography.

Sources and References: - The content does accurately reflect what the sources say, I randomly picked 3 and looked to see if they matched which they did. There is a mix of both older sources and newer sources such as ones in 1988 and others in 2010 or even one in 2022 so there is both newer sources and older sources which is good. Source #5 is a little more on the suspicious side only because their is no author and their is no date so I would look into that a little more and if anything only use that source unless it really is needed. I liked the mix of sources because there were some that were books and others that were websites so it was a mixture of different sources.

Organization: - The organization is good, but just remember to add a lead section. Grammar is overall good, but there was a repetitive sentence under the career section. In the second paragraph it says " In her Blouvlei/Blaauwvlei settlement in Cape Town, she became involved with the Athlone Committee for Nursery Education. The women of this committee were involved with the Athlone Committee for Nursery Education" make sure the take that second sentence out since the following sentence states "The women of this committee were involved..." Im pretty sure this was just a mistake that was forgotten to get taken out which I have also done so just be careful when deleting and adding new sentences. Another thing is that make sure to put the abbreviation for "African National Congress Women's League" right after when it is first mentioned in the career section because throughout the section the abbreviation was used, but I had to go back and figure out what the abbreviation was since it wasn't mentioned so just make sure to add it in the beginning when it is first mentioned so it doesn't get distracting or confusing.The organization is divided into sections and each section does accurately reflect and talk about the titles so overall the organization is good.

Images and Media: - There were no images.