User:Breadrhix/Miss Sophia's Diary/Finndb Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Breadrhix


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Breadrhix/Miss_Sophia%27s_Diary?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Miss Sophia's Diary
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Miss Sophia's Diary
 * Miss Sophia's Diary

Evaluate the drafted changes
This is a wonderful article full of great information. As I was reading this I was glad to see there were many citations added throughout, however there are still some places in which citations could be added. For example: "According to Yang and Li (2014), they believe Ding Ling reversed the images of traditional women in Miss Sophia." I believe the article would also benefit from some changes in phrasing to make it more formal. The final paragraph begins with "In conclusion, ..." which works fine but feels a little drab in comparison to the rest of the article which is very engaging to read at times.