User:Breahmckay/Dorothy Lavinia Brown/Hopehall323 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Breahmckay


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Breahmckay/Dorothy Lavinia Brown


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Dorothy Lavinia Brown

Evaluate the drafted changes
It looks like you are off to a spectacular start. The article is very organized and the first sentence is well written. I think you could add something about her children and their adoption to the introduction. It would also be a good addition to add a little of what they grew up to become to the article as well. Were they inspired by their mother? Did either of them follow in her footsteps either way? Content wise I think that it would be very useful to add some more information about her writings too. It is a single sentence under that subtitle and I would like to know more. The same could be said about the personal life section, what did she do in her free time? She was single, what about her adoptive parents? Do we know anything more about them?

There is quite a bit of grammar and sentence flow and structure issues here that should be addressed. Under the career section is says something about after her departure from politics she returned but it doesn't say to where she returned.

Overall I think this is a wonderful start!