User:BrettGyd57/News propaganda/Ellsbells1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

BrettGyd57


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:BrettGyd57/News_propaganda?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * News propaganda

Evaluate the drafted changes
At first glance, I think the lead section of this article is done fairly well, and makes sense to me as the reader. It feel like it gives me a good basic understanding of the topic. I do think that it could be beneficial to summarise some of the more specific points in the lead section. I believe some of them would be better placed and expanded upon in the article body. For example, your points about Jason Stanley are a great addition, but could be put in the body. I also really appreciate the section headings in the article body. They make it easy to break down and find the information you're looking for quickly. The biggest suggestion I would recommend is to find more citations to add to the article overall. The lead section of the article as it stands currently doesn't have any citations, so this could be a great way for you to contribute.

The sections of the article you've edited so far are very sensibly laid out, and I appreciate that. However, a lot of the tone in the body seems a bit too informal. "' Since the early 1890s the Radio was one of the Main it was used by the Nazi in Germany to spread their ideals to the citizens of Europe and the allies in Britain to drum up sympathy from countries like the US when the Germans had the upper hand.'"This sentence from your article is a good example of a place where you can help reword the tone of the article. It would be beneficial for you to edit the grammar of this sentence as well as change certain words like "drum" to help make it more neutral.

Overally, I really like where you're going with this article, good job!