User:Brian Lynch Day

The history of Brian Lynch Day Brian Lynch Day began in the small town of Seneca Falls, New York as a result of the nutritionally fascist actions of New York State in banning soda vending machines from all public schools. One person however resisted this evil zombie communist plot to destroy humanity. That revolutionary was Brian Lynch a caffeine crazed Rivethead who was known for such exploits as pounding down a half gallon of Mountain Dew in four minutes during a fire drill with no ill effect and being generally as slightly insane. The exploits of Brian Lynch’s flagrant disregard for the Red Undead Menace were written down by such legendary Bards as Loren Schmidtgall Summoner of Pianos. With his characteristic nihilistic rants that somehow managed to combine zombies, religious figures, and random German words that no one understood into what seemed like an intellectual argument, he single handedly slaughtered every single red undead through making them despair of undeath, causing them to promptly eat their own brains just to make it stop. This rant of all rants has allowed, at least for now, a reprieve for all those who wish to drink soda until their teeth rot out. And so every October Twenty Fourth those who know the Epic of Brian Lynch spread the word far and wide and celebrate in rememberance of this crazy German speaking Irish Rivethead and what he did for caffeine addicts everywhere. Criticism “On a scale of one to ten this game is stupid”- The Marcianos