User:Brianna Fleshman/Kiyoshi Shiga/Kaitlynne.Chaffin Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Brianna Fleshman


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Brianna Fleshman/Kiyoshi Shiga


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Kiyoshi Shiga

Evaluate the drafted changes
After reading through your draft, I would say you have a good amount of information so far. Your lead section is very concise, to the point, and relevant to the rest of the article. All of the added content seems to be relevant and organized in a clear way. I think that it might be beneficial to talk more about his personal life and give a broader overview of his earlier years. You could also add an "Education" section and go into further detail of schooling and what led to the discovery of the bacterium. You did a great job of maintaining a neutral tone throughout your writing, and nothing seems to be biased. Assuming that you were able to access the full articles to some of the sources listed, they seem to be good, reliable sources. I clicked on a couple of links and got to the pages with no problems. I think all of your added information seems to be organized pretty well, but I noticed a couple of spots throughout that needed to be edited for grammar. Nothing too major, they are all easy fixes. Overall, I think you have added a lot of great information and have done a good job of writing it all out. I would say that you should just focus more on developing the biography section, and like I said, maybe add in an education section so that you can go into more detail. Great job so far! Good luck with your final article.