User:Bridgetteevans/List of New Girl characters/AJ Tuesday Peer Review

General info
Bridgette Evans
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Bridgetteevans/List of New Girl characters
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):List of New Girl characters

Evaluate the drafted changes
The lead has not been updated; only the sections on Jess and Coach have been added to.

Since your chosen article is a character list/description, there are fewer expectations when it comes to adding information. As long as crucial and/or relevant information is included, you're doing pretty good. And, judging by what I've read and the little bit I know about the show, you've done both. The information is up-to-date--- New Girl has been over since 2018, so there wouldn't be any new information. It's hard for me to say since I've only seen clips of the show, but it seems like you've got a good bit of information going. One thing I thought I'd like to see was some explanation on why Jess' middle name is Christopher. It struck me as funny and left me wondering if there was anything said about it.

I did not read anything in your draft indicating any sort of bias.

I know you have said that you intend to add and update sources, but they are definitely lacking. Based on where you said you started writing, I believe you have added two citations. One of these has no source listed in the references and the other says the page is not found. Of course, just make sure you add some citations; citing episodes themselves would probably be the best option. Also, definitely add a few links to different Wikipedia pages (e.g. episodes if there are pages, "Massachusetts," the pilot episode, "army brats," etc). I'm not sure the first reference can be to just a fact about Jess' middle name because I'm not very familiar with this format, so I would double check that (even if it's not your citation).

In general, the content added is concise. You've compacted many seasons worth of information into a few paragraphs, and I think it is good. However, I don't know the show, so I would just advise you to reread it to see if there's anything that should be removed, condensed, or added. This sentence should be revised for better clarity: "... Jess casually dated and the most memorable being her music teacher co-worker Paul Genzlinger (Justin Long) and Russell Schiller (Dermot Mulroney), a divorced father of one of her students." Other than that, the only other spelling/grammar mistake I noticed was an unnecessary comma in the second to last sentence in the Coach section. Make sure to italicize any time you mention the title of the show. I also think that you could break up that second Jess paragraph into at least two. Personally, I would start it where you start talking about season 4. Otherwise, great chronological order.

There are no images yet, so just be sure to be choosy about the images you use if you get around to adding them.

Overall, great article. You added a sufficient amount of information to give us an objective rundown of her character throughout the show. Even though Jess has her own character page, I like having more information on the same page as the general characters page. I even think you may have had information that her own page did not. My only suggestion other than what I've already mentioned is to include some general objective information on her character development, but that's not absolutely necessary, especially since there is a separate Jess page.

Great work!

Allison