User:Bronsonazama/Mahealani Cypher/Megan808 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Bronsonazama


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bronsonazama/Mahealani_Cypher
 * Evaluate the drafted changes
 * Evaluate the drafted changes

Aloha Bronsonazama,

I enjoyed reading your article on Mahealani Cypher!

Two items to consider:


 * 1) "adverse impact it would cause to sacred Hawaiian sites such as; Kūkuiokāne, Hale ʻo Papa, Kānehekili Heiau, just to name a few." The "just to name a few" seems like it might be a bit too casual? Possibly rephrase to something like "adverse impact it would cause to sacred Hawaiian sites which include but are not limited to ..."
 * 2) For the sake of balance of sections you could consider breaking up the two paragraphs in the H3 section from "1972-Present" to two sections 1. 1972 to the year it was constructed & 2. the year it was constructed to present day.

Overall I really liked the article, being able to peer review yours really helped me to develop my article a lot! The links work and the sources seem both diverse and notable!

Mahalo,

Megan