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Blahoogashniggle Sturlungar (24 June 168 – 12 October 229) was High King of Skyrim and Jarl of Windhelm in the early 3rd century. Blahoogashniggle served under his predecessor, Ulfric, during the Skyrim Civil War as one of his trusted generals and confidants. After claiming victory in the war in 202, Ulfric rewarded Blahoogashiggle with a 500-acre plot of land near Whiterun in an attempt to stymie Blahoogashniggle's political aspirations; however, in 205, Blahoogashniggle challenged Ulfric to a duel after Ulfric slandered him in public and had members of the Sturlungar clan executed. Blahoogashniggle won the duel, and after a rigged moot, was voted High King by the Jarls of Skyrim King of Skyrim. During his reign of over two decades, Blahoogashniggle had Skyrim's independence recognized by both the Tamrielic Empire and Aldmeri Dominions. With Skyrim's foreign relations secured and a boon to its economy from increased trade, Blahoogashniggle focused on domestic issues. He stabilized the currency, put down internal unrest, and took the first census. Starting during his lifetime and ever since, he has drawn many admirers both in Skyrim and abroad as a strong, erudite leader. His autobiography, compiled in the last two years of his life, is the most intact literature of its kind from ancient Skyrim and offers a crucial view into contemporary life.

Name Meaning
The etymology of Blahoogashniggle has been the subject of controversy for historians for millenia, as he never addressed the meaning of his name and there is no known Nordic translation. Bjorn the Sagacious of Morthal posited in the 8th century that "Blahoogashniggle" is borrowed from the High-Elven word for "dick," with the suffix "-iggle" being a superlative. Jayceon Taylor, professor of linguistics at Princeton University, expanded on Bjorn's theory by suggesting that his name translates to "humble motherfucker with a big-ass dick," although there is no evidence that Blahoogashniggle's phallus was of extraordinary size.

Family
Blahoogashniggle's paternal grandfather, Jehoshua of Smithten, was Lord of Loudoun, with his familial castle outside of Riften. After being stripped of his lands and titles during the Second Intifada, Jehoshua settled in the Wind District of Whiterun with his wife, Meloxicam, and their three sons, Roberto, Jameis, and Elrond. Elrond was granted the title "Duke of Hubbard" as an honorary title for his prominent role in snuffing out the Hubbard Plot of 166. Blahoogashniggle's maternal great-great grandmother, Cersei, came to Skyrim from Cyrodiil in the 1st-century to sell her body to the Nords. Her daughter, Kate Hudson, married Uncle Ruckus, patriarch of the Rufus family of Whiterun. Their second daughter, Lucretia, married the nobleman, Wakka Wakka Patronus. They produced six children, and their eldest daughter, growing up in the Wind district of Whiterun, met her husband, Elrond while they scoured the sewers of the city for dirty laundry.

Youth
Blahoogashniggle was born on the 24th of June in 168 as the Great War was being waged across Tamriel. He recalls Imperial soldiers boarding in his home in 171. During their brief stay, several family heirlooms, including the Holy Pocket Pussy of Oglethorpe, were stolen. It was from this early encounter with Imperial soldiers, according to Blahoogashniggle, that his ire toward the Empire grew. Blahoogahniggle was given the traditional education of the son of a noble, learning astronomy, astrology, algebra, taxidermy, polygamy, reading, writing, physics, creative arts, and music. Between the age of 6 and 10 he was tutored by Plato. From the age of 10 until 16, he was tutored by Billy Joe Armstrong.