User:Bsmit24/Damask/SSEA333 Peer Review

General info
Bsmit24
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bsmit24/Damask?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Damask

Evaluate the drafted changes
STRUCTURE/ORGANIZATION LEAD TONE AND BALANCE IMAGES AND MEDIA (looking now at the live article) OVERALL IMPRESSIONS
 * I would make "Nomads"/"China"/"Europe" their own subsections underneath "History" (I don't think that the Chinese or European loom weaving would have been conducive to a nomadic lifestyle. I could be totally wrong about this though that's just a guess that I'm making & ignore this point if so)
 * Maybe reword "History" section to "Historical Methods" to better reflect the content in the section -- "history" to me denotes historical uses or appearances of damask cloth in other works of art/historical record
 * I'd move the last sentence in "Damask in Europe" down to the beginning of "Modern Use" -- 19th century Europe feels modern to me. This may be personal discretion though
 * Maybe move the second paragraph in "Europe" to be the second paragraph in "History", since it seems to indicate more general methods rather than strictly European methods?
 * Relevant information added since the article's last revision in 2023
 * Information on Twill only in Lead, nowhere else in article
 * Nitpicky, but maybe reword "damask is best shown in cotton and linen" to be slightly more objective? i.e. "The patterning in damask cloth is made most visible in cotton and linen"
 * Otherwise tone is very objective & appropriate to wiki editing
 * Image of the antique Jacquard loom very relevant, very helpful to understanding how complex this process can be. What a beast of a machine. Good choice. Maybe add an image of a modern Jacquard loom to show the changes that have been made in the production of the material since the 1800s?
 * damask shoes with buckles also helpful in showing different applications of the cloth/how it looks on a form as odd-shaped as a shoe (as opposed to flat cloth). I would maybe place it closer to "Damask in Europe" since the shoes are from England
 * Light on information and needs sources, but (if I'm guessing correctly and we were groupmates on VT), you were pretty behind on the assignment in the third half of the semester, so that's to be expected. The changes that you've made have overall been positive contributions to the article. One major change I would make is restructuring it so that the "History" subsections aren't nested within one another.