User:Bstark88/Bikutsi/Celestepl Peer Review

Peer review
This is where you will complete your peer review exercise. Please use the following template to fill out your review.

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Bstark88; Billy Stark
 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * User:Bstark88/Bikutsi

Lead evaluation
The lead hasn't been changed from the original version. It's brief and concise but does give general facts like geographic, cultural and chronological information. I would recommend adding more details on the musical style and historical significance to round out the lead.

Content evaluation
The content added is mostly music theory details about Bikutsi. It is definitely relevant, and very detailed. I imagine that sort of information must be up to date, as it is inherent to the musical style. It's a little in-depth for the average reader to understand, music theory wise. I think it would be useful to add more content in the History section; the history doesn't give any details pre-1940 about Bikutsi's origins and development in Cameroon.

I like the idea (as Billy indicated the beginning of adding) of a Women's Influence section. It seems an important cultural detail and could be super interesting!

Tone and balance evaluation
The tone is very neutral, and doesn't try to argue a stance in any direction. I think the Women's Role in Bikutsi section could definitely end up feeling like an argument once it's written, so watch out for that and make sure to stick to evidence.

Sources and references evaluation
The article doesn't have any in-text citations. There's one big [1] but it doesn't work; I think it might have been inserted incorrectly. Try to go through and cite those sources! In the references section I notice a range from 2000-2019 (also a few references which look broken, so double check that you're adding citations correctly). Look on JSTOR for academic articles, that's a great place to start.

Organization evaluation
Most of the writing style is super clear! When the article discusses music theory it gets confusing for the average reader; although that content is interesting try rephrasing it to be more understandable to the non-musical. There are no visible/distracting grammar or spelling errors. The section flow makes sense.

Overall evaluation
I think this is a super interesting topic and has a ton of promise! There hasn't been that much changed yet but the suggestions of a Women's Role section sounds interesting, and the music theory analysis was a great addition. My suggestions for you moving forward are to do some more research and gather sources to cite, expand on the history section re. cultural origins, and shift the music theory language to be a little more understandable. Also expand on the Lead section to add some more detail and summarize the rest of the article.