User:Bubba12345/bojack

"Many years have passed since Bojack was imprisoned in the heart of a star by the Kais as punishment for his despicable ways. But an unforeseen event broke Bojack free of his stellar lock down. Now he is back to avenge himself and to continue his ultimate desire...subjugating the entire Universe! His first task? Take over the interstellar martial arts tournament and take out Earth's top fighters. However, having seen the evil of his ways, Bojack renounced his life of crime and now, together with his faithful dog, Rex, he leads a crusade to restore order to the known universe."

Thus begins each episode of The Adventures of Bojack and Rex, which can often be seen on late night television broadcasts somewhere between channels 37 and 38. BNR, as it is colloquially known, is the longest running example of a Comedy, Action-Adventure, Science Fiction, Crime, Reality TV, Docu-Drama. The show ended production after its 7th season because of various law-enforcment obstacles which have now seemingly been resolved.

The first season of BNR was dismal in the extreme. In fact, the show was to be cancelled following episode number 1. Again after 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and 14. Due to the fact that Bojack moved continuously and changed his email address more frequently than he changed his underwear, the message about the end of the series never reached him. Beginning with the second season, the pace picked up quite nicely following an interstellar faux pax, in which Bojack grievously insulted the Zoarg chieftain while Rex simultaneously relieved himself in the Chieftain's personal rickshaw. This led to numerous chase scenes in the following episodes. Chase sequence number 7 in episode 3 of season 2 actually caught the moment on tape when Bojack, pushing his ship beyond all known safety limits (with a voided warranty, no less) broke all existing speed records and successfully (for once) eluded capture by the Zoargians.

Plots
Plots are a difficult topic given the reality tv nature of BNR. As a docu-drama, BNR seeks to educate the audience about the realities of life aboard an interstellar space ship, however, Bojack and company insist on talking directly to the audience, thus giving the documentary a reality angle. Comedy is brought to play quite unintentionally by the results of the sheer stupidity that some people possess. Many times, the stupid people are the crew, who appear in front of the camera about as often as they appear behind it. The show is billed as science fiction simply because most viewers aren't aware that such technology actually exists are are somewhat unwilling to believe it. Thus they view the show as fiction and drama when in fact (as is stated in the credits) nothing seen on screen is fake or staged. These are the actual adventures of Bojack and Rex.

Many people incredulously ask how a dog can do all the things that Rex can do. This again is an example of people not being willing to admit that advanced technology exists and is actively being used. Rex is a part labrador retriever (hence the intelligence) and part german shepherd (hence the strictness). He has been genetically altered with both human and chimpanzee DNA. The ability to speak was given to him following an amazing 47 hour operation in which part of a human brain was implanted. The donor, for undisclosed reasons, no longer needed to speak, and is (at last report) living a quiet life just west of Omaha.

During season 3, the cast realized that they were actually on TV and decided to try to develop a sub-plot. However, the only effect of this attempt was yet another pathetic episode which was only saved from the cutting room floor by the timely appearance of a Durjan Security Force Ship. In the middle of the ensuing battle, Sidney uttered his now famous line, "Golly, that warning light must really be burned out cause I smell a hull breach."

Themes
Life. Space travel. Luck. Love. Luck. Running from Security Forces. More luck. Laplace Transformations. Luck. Hyperspace navigation. A lot of luck. Familial relationships. Anger management. Human/Canine relations. Interstellar diplomacy. Luck. Cockatiel recipes.

Controversy
There has been MUCH controvery over the veracity of BNR. However, as stated in the credits, all of the show is real, taped on location and without stunt doubles or digital editing. On at least 3 occasions, the video tapes of Bojack were partially exposed to the intense magnetic fields of a wormhole and the coloring was altered slightly. The tapes were aired in this 'damaged' condition because of the strict 'no digital editing' rule.

Main Characters

 * Bojack: Mostly in charge.  Captain of the starship Seymour.  Prefers his converted Audi.
 * Rex: Half Lab/ Half German Shepherd. Can speak due to genetic engineering and brain surgery.  Second in command, but has more common sense than Bojack.  Usually.
 * Sidney: Pretty much in charge of the ship and all the mechanical stuff.  Has a limited vocabulary, but can usually get the stuff to do what he wants it to do.  What he wants it to do is not always what the rest of the crew wants it to do. (See episode 102, "Why is there jelly in the speedometer?")
 * Cooper, Dwight, & 'Afro': Camera men.
 * Bobby: Set manager (until season 5)
 * Diedre: Set manager (since season 5). Called 'Bobby' by the rest of the crew who didn't like having to learn a new name.

Recurring Characters

 * Alice: Bojack's mother. Still lives on Earth. Likes to see her son, but wishes he'd get a 'real job' and 'settle down'.
 * X'lurg: Zoarg Chieftain. Hates Bojack. Specifically hates what Bojack said about his mother. Has a hyperdrive on his rickshaw.
 * Frank: Director (for what it's worth)
 * Qurd: Assistant Director. Killed in "Frank, the radio's dead."  (Note: Since even the director's job is questionable, the position of Assistant Director was not refilled when Qurd died.  Qurd was given a dignified burial in space.  He was NOT used as fuel for the fusion engines!)
 * Marge & Tracy: Annoying little identical twin dimwit tagalongs. Love to get everyone else confused as to which is which.  They got dropped off on Weskirt 4 during the 4th season. NO-ONE misses them.
 * Lard: Sidney's Cockatiel.

Trivia

 * To date, the most popular episode of BNR is the notorious "Rex and the Rabid Wheel of Cheddar" from Season 4. This is the source of the famous quote, "Cheddar??? NO!  I wanted Swiss...holes and all."  Although this is the only time Rex speaks with a British accent, the popularity of the quote has led many to quote all of Rex's lines with such an accent.


 * Rex normally speaks with a midwestern accent, though with a slight hint of his German ancesty.


 * In the episode "Fred, where are you?" Bojack is only heard on the radio; he never appeared on screen. This is actually due to the fact that he was required to attend a conference in Belgium and thus wasn't available for filming.  The lines he spoke were actually recorded over a fairly scratchy cell phone connection.  Thus the 'radio static' is real, not an added effect.


 * There are two episodes, "Frank, the radio's dead" and "Oh, look! A Black Hole" which, owing to their graphic content have never been shown in reruns.  There is a rumor that edited versions of these episodes may be aired, but as of September, 2005, they are available only on DVD box sets purchased outside the United States.


 * The questionable scene in "Oh, look! A Black Hole" is the spaghetification of the starship Seymour which is shown from the computer's viewpoint and thus shows the effect of intense gravitation on human beings (as well as a few alien life forms).


 * In "Frank, the radio's dead," the problem arises when one of the filming crew loses his sanity and attacks the cameraman with a serated bread knife and a jar of pickles. (Such are the problems associated with filming a documentary.)  The scene was deemed appropriate as it portrays the seriousness of interstelar travel and the neuroses that can arise from prolonged periods without contact from other people.  The fact that the radio was working perfectly and the volume was simply turned down is revealed only in the last few minutes of the episode.  The final credits include an apology to the family of the cameraman, condolences from the cast and crew as well as a dedication to the departed and assurances that his body (or what remained of it) was given a proper and dignified disposal in deep space.  Repeated rumors (that have been vehemently denied) suggest that the body wasn't consigned to space, but used as fuel for the fusion engines.


 * As of September, 2005, only 17 crew members have been killed or seriously wounded during the production of BNR. This is quite amazing in light of the extreme environments in which the show is filmed coupled with the practically non-existant budget.


 * In the season 5 episode "Oh crap, here they come again" the scream which occurs immediately before the second commercial break, is actually the death scream of stage manager (Bobby) who was standing in the wrong spot at the wrong time when a Zoargian laser blast penetrated the outer hull, middle hull, and inner hull of the ship. Since he was standing next to the inner hull breach, he too was  penetrated by the laser.  The laser cauterized the wound nicely and the technician would've likely survived if the cauterization hadn't isolated his heart from the rest of his circulatory system.  Bobby wasn't well liked and his body was used to power the fusion engines.


 * Bojack has been deputized in 4 star systems.


 * Bojack has been arrested in 17 star systems.


 * Bojack's first act as a law enforcement officer in the Xerkam system was to arrest himself. This was done because in that particular system, the penalty for any crime is determined by the arresting officer and since Bojack had broken all 537 laws (some of them twice), he decided that the only way to live to tell the tale was to be arrested by an officer who wouldn't kill him.  Since there were only 5 officers and since each officer had at least 2 sisters and since Bojack is quite the ladies man, this was proving to be a difficult task.  In the end, he won the Pillsbury Be a cop for a day contest (Some people question whether the rules for this contest were broken or simply bent a $%^& of a long way), was sworn in, arrested himself, pardoned himself and then gave the badge back.  Since that time, Bojack hasn't returned to the Xerkam system, and usually refuses to discuss the situation unless he is throughly plastered on a Wersix Paddle Barge.


 * Bojack's drink of choice is the Wersix Paddle Barge. This drink consists of 3 parts vodka, 1 part motor oil, 1 part transmission fluid, 2 parts bug spray, 1 part elephant blood, 3 parts lysol, 2 parts pine sol, 2 parts vodka, 2 parts lime, and 16 parts vodka plus 2 parts Scotch.  The resulting headache is best described as having your head placed slightly under water behind the Wersix Paddle Barge and having it left there for the entire trip from Axel to Wersix, hence the name of the drink.  Taking a second drink increases the length of the trip to include the return journey from Wersix to Axel, with a layover in Freddle.  This drink is unique in that one need not wait for the hangover.  Medical Science remains perplexed at how a headache can begin before the drink is metabolized, even before it can reach the stomach.


 * In the season 6 episode "What the $%^& is wrong with the engine now?" Bojack is exposed to the vaccuum of space for a brief time. This isn't a setup.  This actually happened when the force field surrounding the engine collapsed while Bojack was checking the oil.


 * Halfway through season 6 the dipstick for the main engines was moved to a pressurized area of the ship.


 * Due to bad communication, 2 crew members were lost trying to locate the dipstick in the old spot.


 * Rex has fathered 132 puppies by 11 different female dogs.


 * Bojack has attempted to father many children, but hasn't been successful...yet...that we know of.


 * Bojack's mother, Alice, was watching The Dukes of Hazzard and drinking Jack Daniels when Bojack was born. When asked what the name of her son should be, she reached for the TV and murmured Bo (quite wistfully) and then turned to the bottle and called out, Jack!  The doctors present argued whether this represented 2 names or just one, however the typewriter at the hospital was broken and the space bar didn't work properly, thus solving the question, and giving Bojack his name.  After sobering up, Alice, didn't remember naming her baby (or having him, for that matter) and tried to convince everyone that she was being set up.  The family resemblance was unmistakable however and she was forced to take young Bojack home to raise.


 * Marge's real name is Tracy. Tracy's real name is Marge.


 * Marge & Tracy are identical twins.


 * Marge & Tracy pissed off a lot of people.


 * Marge & Tracy are still alive on Weskirt 4. As of season 7, they were presumed to still be alive.


 * Sidney had a pet cockatiel in seasons 2, 3, & 4.


 * In episode 12 of season 4 "Whoa, would you look at the size of that..." everyone (except Sidney, who was inexplicably absent) discovered that cockatiel tastes a lot like chicken.


 * Bojack has a morbid fear of Rubik's Cubes.


 * Bojack's preferred method of travel is in his converted Audi. He installed the hyperdrive upgrade himself and currently (as of September 2005) get about 1,764,872,420 miles per gallon (unleaded).  Given the distance between interstellar gas stations, Bojack hopes to improve this number in the coming season.


 * Bojack is jealous of Rex's martial arts skills.


 * Bojack has failed to earn white belts in 7 martial arts, including Aikido, Karate, Eskrima, Kung-Fu and Jeet Kune Do.


 * The occasional beeping from Bojack's watch is a result of his not knowing how to set (or unset) the alarm. Anyone with a manual for the Seiko 3742QK (revision b) model wristwatch/communicator/force shield generator is asked to please, for the sake of everyone's sanity, call Bojack and tell him how to shut the %$^&* thing off!


 * Although Sidney refers to everything as 'that doohickey,' it must be remembered that in the Exfurgish language, 'tad oo hik eya' is a strong insult to everyone in the room. Thus in some episodes, people can be seen pummeling Sidney just before the Exfurgs come on board the ship.  This is done purely to ensure their own survival.  Often duct tape is used and in many episodes, the red and inflamed area around Sidney's mouth is the same width as a strip of duct tape.  To date, the duct tape removal hasn't required Sidney to have stitches, though on one occasion, he couldn't eat anything salty for about a week.


 * Sidney speaks 9 languages fluently enough to cause diplomatic tensions and in once case a brief war.


 * Rapid decompression is a 'bad phrase'.


 * Rex has a dread fear of the Queen of Diamonds playing card and will destroy all such cards on sight.


 * Most games of solitaire on the show are unwinnable.

Possible Series Revival
As of late 2012, it had been confirmed that BNR will likely enjoy another run beginning in late 2013. Bojack was recently released from incarceration and again is (sort-of) commanding a starship. Rex, while beginning to show his age and now missing a leg and ear, will accompany Bojack. The current working title is "BNR: The Next Generation", as Bojack has apparently finally been successful in his attempt to pass on (what's left of) his genes. Some backstory will be provided in a pre-season documentary entitled "Where has all my DNA gone?" This title has a double meaning related to both the aforemention passing on of DNA as well as the fact that some of Bojack's DNA was stolen from him while in prison (He is now missing some chromosomes). The prison time will receive treatment in the documentary as well. Rumors are that the Bojack's Audi has been found and will be the location of most of the show. A small interstellar drag along U-Haul will provide living quarters for other crew as needed. The Seymour II will serve as a base of operations.

Prison Time
Over the past 7 years, owing to wormhole/time travel technology, Bojack has spent 31 years incarcerated in the Korg System. However, his metabolism was chemically slowed and he aged only 4 years during the 31 years. This warping of time has caused some problems at the DMV when Bojack was asked his age. His answer was 34/37/61. This simply wouldn't fit in the blank on his driver's license, not to mention that the attendant was a bit flustered by this answer. Under his vehement protest, the age of 37 was listed, based on his birth date. His overly vocal protests led to his forceful ejection from the DMV, albeit, with a license. Note that the attendant was so flustered that she didn't bother to check Bojack's actual driving record, which would probably have forbidden issuance of the license.

The charges that led to prison time have yet to be revealed but seem to revolve around a stolen doughnut which was soaked in soy sauce (according to Bojack). There was also the issue of the shaved squirrel wearing a tutu in season 2 of BNR which was mailed to the leaders of Korg.

Missing DNA
During the process to slow his metabolism, some of Bojack's DNA was extracted (not copied, but totally removed). When this was discovered by his primary care physician upon release, all requests for information from the penal facility were denied because of the Non-Freedom of Information Act which recently went into effect in the Korg System. Bojack has little memory of the process but said very small tweezers were used.

Rex
Rex is now 15 years old. He lost an ear and a leg during a bizarre accident while trying to ski uphill in a kayak being pulled behind a chimpanzee on roller blades who was wearing a rocket pack. More details will be revealed in the upcoming season, but early comments by Rex seem to indicate that the uphill part went well, but after that sharp drop off at the top, things went really downhill... in more ways than one.