User:Bubbles the fish/Scott Islands Marine National Wildlife Area /Lilu jawien Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(provide username) Bubbles the fish


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Bubbles%20the%20fish/Scott_Islands_Marine_National_Wildlife_Area_?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Very clear outlines of fauna, Flora and geography. No bias or judgement written, very straightforward. Names each Island and the details according to the section. Very factual and informative information researched in depth.

I learnt that the islands are a cluster of many small lands which all have varying fauna, flora and geography. The islands have many endangered species including marine mammals like sea otters and there are multiple bird species at risk. One of the biggest threats faced by this community were the oil spills and grey water spills which pollute the waters. First nations have a vast history here of hinting and gathering resources.

What the article addresses:


 * 1) Species information is     detailed and informs us on what can be found on these Islands.
 * 2) Species at risk are mentioned     as there is a section dedicated to species at risk mentioning marine     mammals and birds.
 * 3) Mentions the reason why the     protected area was made- to protect the birds and biodiversity from the     travelling vessels that endanger them there.
 * 4) First nations and their use     of the land is mentioned in detail within its own category.
 * 5) First nations included in the     interest to protect the park and the roles involving the protection.

Needed improvements:

The references ( citations) have errors in multiple areas either missing websites or titles. Most of these come from the pdf files. Mistakes in citation details need to be corrected.

Spelling mistake in Indigenous people section.

Maybe consider finding information about resources traded here in the past that don't include animals like fish. It wasn't made clear what was traded from resources in these islands. Could have included some geology that affects the geography and terrane types.

Include an overview of the page as possible improvement.

-easy to understand, no sentence structure difficult to read.

-Sections with flora and fauna match nice and corelate well with each other. Threat types put together well. No problems with organization of sections.

-Tone is neutral throughout the whole article. Factual and does what it is meant to do- inform.

-As mentioned above, sources errors need to be fixed. Sources amount is acceptable. Thoroughly researched. Sources are pdf and websites. Some source references can only be viewed in source mode- lacking information in reference. Sources come from reasonable places.

-There is a good balance in    detail and addressing the topic, which are the islands and subsections on     its ecology. Original article lacks a lot the group has added and built    on.

-Aspects of inclusion with    indigenous people being included in the islands protection. Maybe make the    equity more obvious in the article. Diversity mentioned in the species and    what can be found there.

-The tone is good and there    were no problems.