User:Buddacow/Thunder Duck

The Thunder Duck
Tonitrus Anas Anatis, commonly known as the Thunder Duck, is a reclusive animal found primarily in the Pacific Northwest but has been spotted several times in the forests of Colorado, and once, near a 7‐11 in Provo, Utah. Originally thought to be in the Anatidae family of birds, the Thunder Duck’s taxonomical classification is currently a matter of great debate. Genetic testing of “material” left in their breeding grounds has shown that the Thunder Duck shares DNA characteristics of many animals, including, but not limited to, Ursus arctos Horribilis (the Grizzly Bear), Colostethus Flotator (the Rainforest Rocket Frog), Bradypus Variegates (the Three‐Toed Sloth), Equus Quagga (The half horse, half zebra, extinct since 1883), and of course, Ornithorhynchus Anatinus (the Duck Billed Playtapus). Etymology aside, firsthand accounts of the Thunder Duck describe it as a short, feathered gorilla with a large duck bill. This “bill” seems to play a large role in mating practices. Seemingly being pack animals, when observed in a group, the Thunder Duck with the largest bill seems to possess the status of pack leader. However, this fact is unsubstantiated due to a lack of observational opportunity. In fact, this species seems to have a paradoxical existence. No Thunder Duck has ever been captured nor has any carcass ever been recovered. This is apparently due to their cannibalistic nature. Analysis of their fecal material shows that the primary diet of the Thunder Duck is the Thunder Duck. The Thunder Duck reproduces by laying a single egg which has an incubation period of almost 13 months. This is one of the longest incubation periods known and how it survives in the egg for so long without outside nourishment remains a mystery. Once the hatchling emerges from its shell, the mother immediately recognizes it as her primary source of food and attacks. Only the strongest Thunder Duck hatchlings survive. If the hatchling is successful in fending off the attacking mother, it, being ravenous from the long incubation period, will immediately eat its mother, devouring flesh, bone, feather, and bill entirely. Their extremely hostile and selective reproductive habits make the Thunder Duck one of the most deadly animals on the planet. The fertilization process of the female Thunder Duck also remains a mystery. The aforementioned breeding ground of the Thunder Duck is clearly identifiable by the aftermath of the mating process. This process, which can only be described as an ‘apocalyptic sexual frenzy,’ is characterized by the devastation of the surrounding forest and wildlife: a three hundred foot radius of uprooted trees, dismembered ancillary wildlife, and scorched earth. Several highly funded expeditions have set out to witness and capture the Thunder Duck’s mating practices on film. As of yet, there have been no survivors.