User:Byjaredbrown/Jean Enersen/Sshockley1 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Byjaredbrown


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Byjaredbrown/Jean_Enersen?preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Jean Enersen

Evaluate the drafted changes
1.     First, what does the article do well?


 * The layout, tone are efficient and informative. Your facts are delivered with a neutral tone. You did an excellent job expanding this article with relevant and well researched information.

2.     Is there anything from your review that impressed you?


 * You took a very short article that was not very enticing and included a lot of information about an interesting person. I watched Firefly Lane and I imagine many people that did would be interested in this article.

'''3.     What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?'''


 * Is there a source for the second part of the Early Life” section about her education?
 * In the sample about the photographer in the car maybe expand on the story to connect the struggle of being a female in the job with his lack of enthusiasm.
 * In this line of the 3rd paragraph under Career I’m not sure if you are referencing Dorothy Bullitt or Jean Enersen (though I can assume and look back at your timeline to see it was Jean: “She appeared as KING's main anchor for the first time on August 30, 1971.”
 * In this line under Career should the reference be at the end after she is called “The Franchise”? If not is there a source for that? “By 1973 Enersen was considered Seattle's top newscaster, according to  market research at the time.[4] She became known as the “The Franchise”      in the local television market.”
 * Is there any other information on her philanthropy that might be interesting? It might be interesting to know more about how she participated.
 * I don’t know if it’s worth disclosing, but I see that she already passed away. I was wondering if there was any information on her passing that might be included.

4.     What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?


 * You have already added so much information that paints     a clear picture of Jane Enersen and her career/accomplishments. I think      clearing up a little bit of the sources and maybe adding a tiny bit on      the info described above might complete it.

5.     Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article?


 * Your work definitely makes me want to do more research to get my article to a point where it is informative enough but not overwhelming. I have some work to do. Great work Jarod!

6.    Reliable sources:


 * I checked all your sources and they look good except one is a duplicate
 * Jean Enersen | Seattle Times archives.com Retrieved 2021-4-14  AND  Davila, Florangela (November 25, 2007). "Jean Enerson"  link to the same page.