User:CJManalo25/sandbox

Week 12: Working Towards Final Draft
All draft content has been moved to a separate sandbox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CJManalo25/Final_Draft?venotify=created

Week 9: Draft 2 and Revisions
Summary of Peer Review:


 * Add more citations for the edits and what my edits will look like within the article
 * Be more clear in edits and actually write in edits
 * People commented that the workload is not evenly distributed amongst the team? I think the workload is evenly distributed, but I guess we should communicate what work someone is doing more clearly.
 * Make group sandbox more clear
 * Think about adding or updating images in the Shark Anatomy page

Plan of Action

 * The ones that are underlined will be areas with my revisions
 * Words/sentences in bold will be my actual edited changes

Respiratory System
Taken directly from page:

"In the shark anatomy image, it depicts the beginning half of the shark, including the gills. The shark gills are especially important and were evolved from the chordate pharyngeal gill slits synapomorphy. Gills are essential for sharks to breathe underwater. Like other fishes, sharks extract oxygen from water as it passes over their gills . The water enters through the mouth, passes into the pharynx, and exits through the gill slits (most sharks have five pairs, the frilled sharks, cow sharks, and sixgill sawshark have six or seven pairs). Most sharks also have an accessory respiratory opening called a spiracle behind their eyes. In bottom-dwelling sharks such as angel sharks, the spiracle allows them to take in water to breathe without having to open their mouths[citation needed].

There are two mechanisms that sharks can use to move water over their gills: in buccal pumping, the shark actively pulls in water using its buccal muscles, while in ram ventilation, the shark swims forward, forcing water into its mouth and through its gills. As buccal pumping is more energy-intensive than ram ventilation, the former is generally used by sedentary, bottom-dwelling sharks while the latter is used by more active sharks. Most sharks can switch between these mechanisms as the situation requires. A few species, such as the great white shark, have lost the ability to perform buccal pumping and thus will suffocate if they stop moving forward.

Respiratory System [My version]
"In the shark anatomy image, it depicts the beginning half of the shark, including the gills. The shark gills are especially important and were evolved from the chordate pharyngeal gill slits synapomorphy. Like lungs in other animals, gills are essential for sharks to breathe underwater by extracting oxygen from water. The water enters through the mouth, passes into the pharynx, and exits through the gill slits. Most shark species have five gill slits on each side such as the frilled sharks, cow sharks, however, some species can have up to six or seven like the sixgill sawshark.  As part of their respiratory system, sharks also have an accessory respiratory opening called a spiracle behind their eyes. Spiracles are a cartilaginous structure located on the top of a sharks head to draw oxygenated water from above in addition to it passing over the gills.

""""Add Subsection about gills"""

[Insert image of gills from dissection]

[Add Subsection: Mechanisms of Breathing]

There are two mechanisms that sharks can use to move water over their gills: in buccal pumping, the shark actively pulls in water using its buccal muscles, while in ram ventilation, the shark swims forward, forcing water into its mouth and through its gills. '''Buccal pumping is more-energy intensive than ram ventilation. Sedentary, bottom dwelling sharks generally use buccal pumping to move water over to their gills compared to more active sharks, who will use ram ventilation and swim to force water to its mouth and gills. Most sharks can switch between these mechanisms as the situation requires depending on the abundance of oxygen in the water'''. '''A few species, such as the great white shark, have lost the ability to perform buccal pumping and will suffocate if they stop moving forward due to insufficient oxygen passing over their gills. '''

Cardiovascular/Circulatory System
Note: on the Shark Anatomy Page there is no "Cardiovascular System" section but a "Circulatory System" section and I will add information about the cardiovascular system here. I'm unsure if I want to tackle this system as well or should focus on the respiratory system more. Any opinions/insights are appreciated!

Taken directly from page :

Sharks possess a single-circuit circulatory system centered around a two-chambered heart. Blood flows from the heart to the gills where it is oxygenated. This oxygen-rich blood is then carried throughout the body and to the tissues before returning to the heart. As the heart beats, deoxygenated blood enters the sinus venosus. The blood then flows through the atrium to the ventricle, before emptying into the conus arteriosus and leaving the heart.

[ Will add a whole new paragraph here] **** There is also an image of a dissection that I plan to replace***

The caption of that image:

A dissected view of the unique four-chambered heart of the shark Chambers: Sinus Venosus, Atrium, Ventricle, Conus Ateriosus

Circulatory System [My version]
Sharks possess a single-circuit circulatory system centered around a two-chambered heart containing an auricle and ventricle Blood flows from the heart to the gills where it is oxygenated. This oxygen-rich blood is then carried throughout the body and to the tissues before returning to the heart. As the heart beats, deoxygenated blood enters the sinus venosus. The blood then flows through the atrium to the ventricle, before emptying into the conus arteriosus and leaving the heart.

[Insert image of heart]

'''The circulatory system and respiratory system interacts closely together. it As water rushes over their gills, shark have a body temperature similar to the water.'''

**** This would be a way to start this new paragraph for this section, but I think I'm trying to bite off more than I can chew*****

Week 6: Draft 1 of Your Articles
Group Reflection:


 * Identified more overlap we can all add to the Shark Anatomy page
 * Moved Group Sandbox to Icedburg284 sandbox: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Icedburg824/Spiny_Dogfish

Article Draft for Peer Review:
Note this edit is for the Shark Anatomy page under the respiratory system section. I want to add more information and propose a sub-section discussing the ventilation system the Spiny Dogfishes utilize. This is a fairly short section and it has a few images. I can potentially ad more images during dissection illustrating the internal gill structures. Below is the copy-and-pasted excerpt of the "Respiratory System".

 Respiratory System 

In the shark anatomy image, it depicts the beginning half of the shark, including the gills. The shark gills are especially important and were evolved from the chordate pharyngeal gill slits synapomorphy. Gills are essential for sharks to breathe underwater. Like other fishes, sharks extract oxygen from water as it passes over their gills. The water enters through the mouth, passes into the pharynx, and exits through the gill slits (most sharks have five pairs, the frilled sharks, cow sharks, and sixgill sawshark have six or seven pairs). Most sharks also have an accessory respiratory opening called a spiracle behind their eyes. In bottom-dwelling sharks such as angel sharks, the spiracle allows them to take in water to breathe without having to open their mouths[citation needed].

There are two mechanisms that sharks can use to move water over their gills: in buccal pumping, the shark actively pulls in water using its buccal muscles, while in ram ventilation, the shark swims forward, forcing water into its mouth and through its gills. As buccal pumping is more energy-intensive than ram ventilation, the former is generally used by sedentary, bottom-dwelling sharks while the latter is used by more active sharks. Most sharks can switch between these mechanisms as the situation requires. A few species, such as the great white shark, have lost the ability to perform buccal pumping and thus will suffocate if they stop moving forward.

What to Edit & My Proposed Edits:
'''Overall, this section is small and there is many opportunities, where I can elaborate on certain information. There was only one citation per paragraph, but once I add more information it will be more in depth.'''
 * There is a missing citation at the end of the sentence of the first paragraph, where I can either find a source that supports the argument or reorganize the sentence entirely to fit other sources.
 * With no citation, I can't tell if this information is true or partly true. I might need to propose bigger changes and restructuring of the first paragraph.
 * More can be said about the two mechanisms of how sharks move water over their gills. I would add a subsection called "Ventilation"
 * The line "most sharks have five pairs..." can be elaborated on about why sharks have a set number of pairs. It can also be an embedded link to the Squalidae page which discusses the family of sharks that Spiny Dogfishes belong to.
 * Information that discusses the evolution of their gill slits is a possible edit.
 * Other Wikipedia links can be put in to help define words such as "synapomorphy" and "pharnygeal gill slits"

Week 5: Group Assignment - Find your Sources
Group Work sandbox (my own personal one for ideas)

Page Assignments:
Goal: Initially work on our own separate pages, but once we see overlap, we can link to each other pages. We want to build on our own pages then as a group come together to identify the overlaps.
 * Shark Anatomy - Mako021
 * Wants to add more on the reproductive and pregnancy
 * Pacific Spiny Dogfish - CJManalo25
 * Wants to add more about gills and ventilation.
 * Squalidae - Icedburg284
 * Low importance page, talk page is also pretty vacant. Lots of opportunity to edit.

Three Wikipedia pages I am interested in :
** Honorable mention: I wanted to look more into the spines on the dorsal fin, but I could not find any Wikipedia pages containing that information.
 * 1) Pacific Spiny Dogfish - I chose this because this is the most abundant spiny dogfish and it migrates seasonally to the Puget Sound, which I thought was interesting. Since this species is "local" I thought it would be interesting to find more information on it. Most sections are fairly short, so a possible edit can be expanded upon such as gills and the spiracle, which is my other two choices.
 * 2) Gill Slit - From my reading, spiny dogfish have a special type of ventilation, which differs from bony fishes. They have gill slits instead of gill covers like bony fishes. The way the gill functions helps in respiration and feeding, but I want to focus on how the evolution of the gill slits instead of bony fishes. I'm interested why this is apparent compared to gill covers. An edit on this page is to add a section or information about the evolutionary timeline or relationship of gill slits.
 * 3) Spiracle - Like gill slits, spiny dogfishes have a spiracle that operates within the same function as ventilation, but it is a unique feature to cartilaginous fishes. It was originally derived from a pair of gill openings in jawed vertebrates, but the lower gill closed off leaving the spiracle. I'm interested in how it relates to the gills and what it looks like. Spiracles are homologs to the inner ear in modern tetrapods, which I did not know about. This page can be more organized in short section because there are multiple topics that touch on evolution, respiration and sharks/cartilaginous fishes. An edit can be adding Heading sections, so it is easier to read.

Three Wikipedia pages I want to edit:

 * 1) Shark anatomy
 * 2) Squalidae
 * 3) Manta ray - closely related to sharks, so they have similar features.

Article Edit: Hagfish
This is where I will place my ideas on editing this Wikipedia Article and other notes I will have.

Hagfish (Beginning Background Information)
The classification of hagfish had been controversial. The issue was whether the hagfish was a degenerate type of vertebrate-fish that through evolution had lost its vertebrae (the original scheme) and was most closely related to lampreys, or whether hagfish represent a stage that precedes the evolution of the vertebral column (the alternative scheme) as is the case with lancelets. Recent DNA evidence has supported the original scheme.


 * My edit summary: For me, the phrases "original scheme" and "alternative scheme" was awkward to use in describing the evolutionary relationship between vertebrates and hagfishes. The use of this phrase continues until the first section of 'Physical features.' Also, the use of the word "degenerate" is not appropriate–seems too anthropomorphic, so odd use of vocabulary. It falls along the using language such as more "primitive" or "advanced" which we are trying to avoid.
 * Proposed Talk: It seems like the editor tried to paraphrase from the source, but it did not turn out well. To replace the work 'degenerate,' I would suggest using the word simple as in "the hagfish was a simple vertebrae type-fish." To change the word "scheme," I would suggest changing it to the word "belief." This whole section can be re-written with a larger edit as well, which might be easier to read for everyone.

As food
In most of the world, hagfish are not often eaten. In Korea, the hagfish is a valued food, where it is generally skinned, coated in spicy sauce, and grilled over charcoal or stir-fried. It is especially popular in the southern port cities of the peninsula, such as Busan.[citation needed]


 * My edit summary: My first article edit is in the "As food" section, where it details how hagfish are eaten as a cuisine. This section is short with little detail, and a citation is needed. To resolve this issue, I identified a reference to use and change the wording to support the original claim on the article. The possible edit can be:
 * Although it is not normally eaten, hagfish is valued as a meal. In Korea, hagfish are killed, skinned, diced in a spicy sauce cooked or grilled. Fish markets sell hagfishes for cooking and can be found in Jagachi Market, the second largest fish market in Korea, located in Busan.
 * Proposed Talk: This sentence in the section does not have a citation. Here is a possible edit, where I found a reference to use to further support the original claim. I also added information regarding Busan which has 'Jagachi Market' that sells hagfish.

Possible Updated References:
Hagfish from the Cretaceous Tethys Sea and a reconciliation of the morphological–molecular conflict in early vertebrate phylogeny

Tetsuto Miyashita, Michael I. Coates, Robert Farrar, Peter Larson, Phillip L. Manning, Roy A. Wogelius, Nicholas P. Edwards, Jennifer Anné, Uwe Bergmann, A. Richard Palmer, Philip J. Currie

Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences Feb 2019, 116 (6) 2146-2151

Week 2: Article Evaluation
Article I evaluated: Hagfish


 * Is everything in the article relevant to the article topic? Is there anything that distracted you?
 * I found the sections such as Body Features, Slime, and Respiration as appropriate to the article topic. However, there was less information or attention on the musculoskeletal system and phylogeny, which is a main interest in our class. There is a commercial use section towards the end of the article that is incomplete, which was distracting.
 * Is the article neutral? Are there any claims, or frames, that appear heavily biased toward a particular position?
 * The article is neutral from my reading. There was one sentence that says "according to the fossil record" which can be perceived as a bias, since the fossil record is not complete. To me, it implies that information following the sentence is a truth because the fossil record provides evidence.
 * Are there viewpoints that are overrepresented, or underrepresented?
 * I think the discussion of phylogeny was underrepresented in this article; more can be said than what it has currently. A possible edit is including a discussion of the fossil record briefly.
 * Check a few citations.
 * Are they properly formatted?
 * From my reading, a majority of the citations are formatted properly. There were a few citations I found that are not as reputable such as an article from MSN, which did not contain an author and it was taken from another source not cited.
 * Do the links work?
 * Most of the links work, but some go to other Wikipedia pages that need to be worked on.
 * Does the source support the claims in the article?
 * Are there any instances of plagiarism on the page?
 * From what I read, I did not identify any forms of plagiarism, but I can tell the editors tried to piece together information in their own words.
 * Check out the Talk page of the article. What kinds of conversations, if any, are going on behind the scenes about how to represent this topic?
 * Talk page heavily discussed whether a hagfish was a vertebrate or not. Users did mention it belonging to the chordates, but conversations mostly discussed where hagfish belongs on a phylogeny.
 * How is the article rated? Is it a part of any WikiProjects?
 * This article was rated as a C, which is an intermediate article that can be further improved and edited.
 * How does the way Wikipedia discusses this topic differ from the way we've talked about it in class?
 * There are other features of lamprey we did not touch upon such as their reproduction, cardiac function, fluid balance, and their eyes.

Content Gaps

 * Wikipedians often talk about "content gaps." What do you think a content gap is, and what are some possible ways to identify them?
 * A content gap could be a gap information, where it doesn't tell the whole story of the topic. To be able to identify them, I found areas where sentences left me confused or certain information was not discussed thoroughly. Additionally, if there are gaps in the citations and sources, it can indicate that editors did not have enough information to write.
 * What are some reasons a content gap might arise? What are some ways to remedy them?\
 * Editors can use non-reputable sources, so locating more reputable sources can be a way to resolve that issue.
 * Does it matter who writes Wikipedia?
 * I don't think it matters who writes Wikipedia, but HOW they write articles is the most important quality.
 * What does it mean to be "unbiased" on Wikipedia? How is that different, or similar, to your own definition of "bias"?
 * To be "unbiased" on Wikipedia means to have a neutral standpoint and be able to write neutrally as well. My definition of bias illustrates favor for or against a concept in terms of writing.

Possible edits

 * Commercial Use section looks incomplete. This is an area that if I find more resources, I can possibly complete. Other things I noticed:
 * Writing style can be improved. There were awkward words and phrases that can be simplified.
 * External links to help define term