User:CLWE/Mr. Grumpsy

Mr. Grumpsy was a short-lived fictional character in the British television soap opera Coronation Street. Rather than being human like most of the other characters, Mr. Grumpsy was a garden gnome. Owned by Claire Peacock, it is widely accepted that he was the first character to be portrayed by a garden gnome in a prime time television drama series in the United Kingdom.

Mr. Grumpsy came to prominence after his martyrdom in a controlled explosion which was carried out at the foot of the Peacocks' garden. This detonation brought about the decapitation of the pioneering character. Local gold digger, Chesney Battersby-Brown, had been making use of his metal detector when he unearthed a bomb. With the entire street subject to enforced evacuation, residents spent the remainder of the day in the local community hall. However, amid the chaos, Mr. Grumpsy was left behind; this error of judgment proved to have fatal consequences.

Mr. Grumpsy made his television debut in the second of two episodes broadcast by ITV on the evening of Monday 26 February 2007. He has not appeared since, nor is he expected to in the foreseeable future.

Appearance
Mr. Grumpsy was distinguishable by his unusual dress sense; most notably a green jacket and red cap which set him apart from the other characters in the show who wear traditional Mancunian attire. However, as he was damaged irreparably in the bomb explosion, his appearance has become somewhat dishevelled. Years of heavy smoking had worn down his immune system and taken its toll on his dashing youthful looks.

Ancestry
Mr. Grumpsy was a descendant of the Thuringian gnomes, made prominent in Germany in the mid-1800s by Phillip Griebel. Griebel was approached by one of these gnomes, who had become concerned at the increasing isolation of his people from the world at large. Having locked Griebel in his garden shed and threatened him with a pitchfork for three days, the gnome (allegedly named Hans) had his way when his victim promised to rectify the situation. Griebel then set out on a deeply personal quest to promote tales of the gnomes's good natured willingness to assist in the garden during hours of darkness. Done with Griebel, Hans assigned his children Hans II and Gertrude Wilhelm the respective tasks of spreading his message to neighbouring France and overseas to Britain. Wilhelm settled in Manchester, England and produced seventeen offspring, the thirteenth of which (Harold) gave birth to the sister-in-law of Mr. Grumpsy's great grandfather.

Family
Claire Peacock (a female human) served as Mr. Grumpsy's metaphorical surrogate mother, protecting the gnome from the villainous reaches of her husband Ashley, his two hyperactive children, Freddie and Joshua and spiteful neighbours, the Grimshaws, who were jealous of his gardening skills.

Critical response
Critics praised the inclusion of a member of a minority species in one Britain's best loved television shows, describing the creation of the Mr. Grumpsy character as a "brave, brave, brave, bold move". His acting skills were lauded far and wide. A leading critic with an upmarket British newspaper stated that he had "collapsed in a heap of spontaneous and emotional ejaculation" upon witnessing the character's death. The character prompted a debate in the British parliament's House of Commons about the inclusion of minority species in television shows, with calls for similar cameo roles for unicorns and eskimos. The debate extended beyond Britain to Ireland (well regarded for its provision of excellent living conditions to minority species such as its resident leprechauns), Germany (which has long had special relations with gnomes), Denmark, Sweden, the Netherlands, Kosovo, Antarctica, South Ossetia and the Principality of Sealand, with each country calling for special guidelines regarding the place of gnomes in society to be legally implemented.