User:CalWilNyc/France–Mali relations/Cwn24 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

(CalWilNyc)


 * Link to draft you're reviewing https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:CalWilNyc/France%E2%80%93Mali_relations?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * France–Mali relations

Evaluate the drafted changes
Here is my peer review:

Lead: I would maybe move the last two sentences into a section other than the lead section because it starts to get into some pretty specific detail, including the current temperature of relations which had not been mentioned in the introduction until that point. It looks like you plan to add a lot more into multiple different sections so just make sure that you briefly describe all the articles' major sections and lightly reference them in the introduction.

Content (revelant, up to date, missing): There is a sentence in the introduction, “French rule had influenced Mali in several aspects..” but you only mention one aspect. Therefore, I would take out the first part of the sentence or else more specifically mention the aspects in which they are tied. In the Economic relations section it could be cool if you give a breakdown of how much Mali's budget comes from French aid, how that breakdown has changed overtime, and where the aid is going. I think the most important sections to make sure that you focus on would be History (I’m assuming that would talk about early interactions including the slave trade), Colonization, and After Malian Independence because they give the necessary context to understand the current relations in the news between France and Mali.

Tone and balance (neutral, over/under represented viewpoints): I know it is just a summary of your ideas that you plan to expand but in the section about Operation Barkhane you say “they were asked by Mali to come, arrived as heroes, left without accomplishing mission,” and I just want to make sure you maintain a neutral tone and don’t sound anti-France. Additionally be careful in adding a criticisms sections that there is a balance of positives also and again that you don’t sound anti-France because you just want to give the facts of what happened, not any opinions.

Sources and references (find citation problems, thorough, recent, diverse): I would recommend adding citations after both of these sentences: “'''The first significant contact between the two nations came in 1855 when the French erected a fort in present-day Médine. By 1892, Mali was declared a French colony, then called Soudan Français (French Sudan).”'''

The sentence, “ There are over 120,000 Malians in France.” needs a citation because it is quoting a specific fact.

Organization (grammer, sections): There is a sentence in your lead sections, “ Due to this, France and Mali have a strong connection.” It feels like this sentence is making more of a qualitative statement and it is redundant. Possibly it could be reworded and added into the prior sentence. Additionally, it has a citation but does not seem to need one. If the citation has more evidence to back the statement within it than that more specific information should be mentioned.

Overall (5-7 sources, link to course material, add context?): Overall, I think this could be a really great page and is super relevant to the course. There is a lot of potential with the different sections that you have indicated that you plan to expand. Make sure that you continue to add sources and have a diverse group of at least 10 sources and continue to cite and update the lead section as you go. Also, the existing section on the Northern Mali conflict has good context that should be kept in the final article, while possibly expanding the section or updating the citations to place after each sentence.