User:CalmSunny/Mattel/Mshea22 Peer Review

General info
CalmSunny
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:CalmSunny/Mattel
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Mattel

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead

The sandbox edits cover Mattel, Inc.'s operations comprehensively, including its history, digital and sustainability efforts, diversity initiatives, technological expansions, collaborations, and entertainment ventures. To improve, consider expanding on how diversity impact product development and marketing strategies. Also, I am not sure if this is a requirement, but there is no content that mentions how climate affects this organization or vise versa.

Content

The added content fits well with Mattel. It talks about its history, recent digital efforts, eco-friendly initiatives, and efforts to make its toys more inclusive. It also discusses current happenings, which is good. Highlighting the company's efforts to include all kinds of people in its toys is important. However, there could be more discussion about how Mattel addresses any problems or criticisms it faces.

Tone and Balance

The tone of the writing sounds neutral and doesn't seem to favor any particular ideas. It presents different sides of the story, which is good. It doesn't appear to take sides on any issues. However, it could provide a bit more balance by mentioning some of the challenges Mattel might be dealing with.

Sources and References

It's crucial to have reliable sources for all the new information added. Ensure there are links to where the information came from. While they mentioned getting information from Mattel's website and other sources, they need to include links to those sources in the article. Also, make sure the sources are up-to-date, fair, and come from diverse perspectives.

Organization

The content added appears well-written, clear, and easy to read. However, ensure consistency in writing style and formatting throughout the article. Also, considering breaking down the content into well-organized sections with clear headings to improve readability and accessibility for readers was a very good touch.

Overall Impressions

The article improved with the new additions. It's more engaging and informative now. Good points include adding new and current information, organizing it well, and being fair in presenting different viewpoints. In addition, Consider adding links to the information sources, maybe mention some potential challenges faced by Mattel, and provide more examples. There also is not any details about climate change in relation to this organization.