User:Cam Hist/User:Henshena/Homemaking/Cam Hist Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Henshena


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Henshena/Homemaking


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Homemaking

Evaluate the drafted changes
19th century:

Great start! There are a few minor spelling errors so I would look through for those and fix them. While I was reading this section it seemed to only be the point of view for low/middle class women that could not afford to hire any domestic help, I would add that in so that people realize what group you are talking about. And possibly if you want to expand this part you could talk about women that were of the upper class and did hire help, some possible sources that I thought of were the two movies we watched earlier in the term Pinky and Imitation of Life. Could also possibly expand on the actual labors that women had the the tools that they used, especially how there jobs actually got harder with these new technologies kind of like what we had talked about toward the beginning of the term.

20th century:

I think it might be good if you start a little bit further back in history because a lot of things happen in the 20th century that impacts homemaking and how it changed at the end of the century. A good article to draw from class might be "the politics of Housework" (1970) just to help give some explanation and background information as to how some/most women felt and maybe why the change happened. The last sentence seemed like it was added in last minute and didn't really have any connections so if you want to keep it in then I think it would be good to expand on it and offer a more in depth explanation.

Servants:

Could possibly add African American women mostly having domestic type jobs after the civil war and well throughout the 20th century (might need to double check about the start time) possibly use the article "Hired girl" more then you did and/or Ms. Em from the movie or Pinky's grandmother with her laundry service.

Management:

I might add again just a clarification that it was white middle/upper class women since they were the ones that could afford hired domestic help, but other then that I thought this was clear and to the point.

Suburban Life:

Again I would just add that mostly white middle/upper class families lived in suburban just to be very clear about historically what group of people were able to afford them and help the reader have that historical background information.

Overall: I thought you did a really good job making all your thoughts full and clear and they all made sense, I just think to make sure the reader understands the full picture it is important to always be clear about what class/group of people that you are talking about and that had those experiences. You have plenty of sources and really good ones, sometimes I think you could expand a bit more on some topics just to help give the readers more background information but if that's not your plan then that's okay I again would just make sure to state who you are talking about that had these experiences. I think you did a good job tying in aspects from class and adding in historical contexts I think you just have a few spelling errors to fix and possibly a couple of things to add.