User:Cameronflanagan/sandbox

Malo Jonku
Malo Jonku was born in the mountains of Northern Czech Republic. This was his first accomplishment, and he started on the right foot. At a young age, Jonku was attacked by a seagull while on a hiking trip with his family to a nearby lagoon. To this day, Jonku still has a deep fear of birds and this remains a factor in his research. He excelled while attending the prestigious Nawns Boarding Academy, and remained top of his class throughout his schooling. Although he excelled academically, he struggled socially with his peers. His stunned height at only 5'1" made socially connections difficult. Interestingly, one of Jonku few childhood associates, named Oilly Auz, was aggressively ambiguous regarding Czech policy towards a woman's right to choose.

Following in the footsteps of his Great Uncle, he attended the sister school the Diddler Institute for Genital Studies. This is where Jonku received his Ph.D in Genital and Neurobiological Health. His first and only piece of research was that attending parties right before examination periods at universities produces a 75% increase in performance. This famous paper also recommended that the party be nerd, jock, or cheerleader themed (ideally all three). After this was published, Dr. Jonku moved to Montreal and set up his own research institute, which is now a local heritage site protected by the Province of Quebec. Jonku was also a supporter of kids in sports, and famously coached the Canadian Tiddlywinks Team to their first continental championship in 1978.