User:Cameronkalantar/Migrant education/Jennanand Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Cameron Kalantar


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Cameronkalantar/Migrant_education&veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template&redirect=no
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Yasminemahm./Newcomer_education?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Migrant education
 * Newcomer education

Evaluate the drafted changes
Migrant Education Peer Review:

When I first reviewed the article, I noticed there is no bias and all the information presented is very factual and neutral. Also, the citations were properly linked and worked, however one part I would change is taking out the author and their year after the citations because they have already been included in the number citation so they are not necessary. Also, I would change the section name from "International School Solution" to the "Internationals Network Approach" or something alongside those lines. Right now the title seems to be like there is an actual international approach between countries and their school solution, so I would make a title that clarifies this a bit more. Also, when first presenting the history of the information, I'd go more in depth and talk about how many Internationals Schools there are currently and where they are located. This will only help strengthen the evidence presented in the article and I think it can be very useful. Also, you could include some facts about what the exact community college is that it originated in and be more specific. Also, I would expand on how a major focus for the Internationals Network for Public Schools is English Language Learning and maybe add why this is so important for migrants. These are just some few aspects that I feel like would help enhance the article. Overall, I feel like this paragraph will fit perfectly in with the article and will give readers more insight to the migrant education policies within the United States. The article is also very well written and does not seem to contain any spelling or grammar errors. Great job on this!

Newcomer Education Peer Review:

When I first reviewed the portion's Cameron included, I noticed there were no large biases. However, the first couple of sentences do sound a little bit bias so I would just include citations/sources for these statements so it seems to be more factual information. I really liked how you included a specific example of Moussa's school and showing a specific example of a good refugee education program. The citation did work well and I was able to clink the link to the source. Also, I liked the placement of this paragraph and I think you can incorporate this in various different places but this was a good choice as well. There seems to be no spelling or grammar errors. I just don't know if direct quotes are needed/used in Wikipedia articles, but I think the way you incorporated it is good as well. I think this is a good section to add to the article and helped enhance the article very much. Great job on this!