User:Can't sleep, clown will eat me/User/Clownbox

Murela wants apology
Half of me was reluctant to write this letter out of concern that Hon. Can't sleep the clown will eat me may be one of those people who say unprofessional things for the sole purpose of gaining attention. But given Can't sleep the clown will eat me's track record, I have concluded that one difference between his flunkies and other dark forces of anarchy and hatred is that the former intend to substitute breast-beating and schwarmerei for action and honest debate, so I've decided to proceed. It is worth noting at the outset that whenever Can't sleep the clown will eat me announces that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles, his companions applaud on cue and the accolades are long and ostentatious. What's funny is that they don't provide similar feedback whenever I tell them that Can't sleep the clown will eat me spouts a lot of numbers whenever he wants to make a point. He then subjectively interprets those numbers to support his wisecracks while ignoring the fact that he wants to be the one who determines what information we have access to. Yet Can't sleep the clown will eat me is also a big proponent of a particularly shabby form of negativism. Do you see something wrong with that picture? What I see is that it's easy to tell if he's lying. If his lips are moving, he's lying.

I strive to be consistent in my arguments. I can't say that I'm 100% true to this, but Can't sleep the clown will eat me's frequent vacillating leads me to believe that he says that ethical responsibility is merely a trammel of earthbound mortals and should not be required of a demigod like him. This is at best wrong. At worst, it is a lie. If I had to choose the most cranky specimen from Can't sleep the clown will eat me's welter of surly gabble, it would have to be Can't sleep the clown will eat me's claim that this is the best of all possible worlds and that he is the best of all possible people. For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: Can't sleep the clown will eat me's suggestions form a vast brainwashing and brain-contaminating machine, which has worked, on the whole, with great efficiency. As an interesting experiment, try to point this out to him. (You might want to don safety equipment first.) I think you'll find that Can't sleep the clown will eat me says that the Queen of England heads up the international drug cartel. What he means by this, of course, is that he wants free reign to create a Frankenstein's monster.

If someone were to use terms of opprobrium such as "morally questionable vigilantes" and "obtuse blood-stained criminals" to castigate whomever Can't sleep the clown will eat me opposes, I'd rather it be an army of inimical televangelists than Can't sleep the clown will eat me because the latter is quixotic, while the former are only subhuman. He either is or elects to be ignorant of scientific principles and methods. Can't sleep the clown will eat me even intentionally misuses scientific terminology to batten on the credulity of the ignorant. It is apparent to me that it seems clear that we are becoming a nation of worthless, bilious mob bosses. But we ought to look at the matter in a broader framework before we draw final conclusions on the subject: We see that Can't sleep the clown will eat me once tried to convince a bunch of us that materialism and cannibalism are identical concepts. Fortunately, calmer heads prevailed and a number of people informed the rest of the gang that I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to solve the problems that are important to most people.

Some people think it's a bit extreme of me to communicate and teach -- a bit over the top, perhaps. Well, what I ought to remind such people is that idle hands are the devil's tools. That's why Can't sleep the clown will eat me spends his leisure time devising ever more muddleheaded ways to violate all the rules of decorum.

Technically, Can't sleep the clown will eat me is totally mistaken if he believes that there should be publicly financed centers of barbarism. He is like a broken record, using the same tired cliches about family and education and safer streets, yet he is terrified that there might be an absolute reality outside himself, a reality that is what it is, regardless of his wishes, theories, hopes, daydreams, or decrees. As someone who enjoys brandishing words like "incontrovertibleness" and "interdestructiveness" as a smoke screen to hide his flimflams' inherent paradoxes, Can't sleep the clown will eat me must indubitably be at a loss when someone presents a logical counterargument to his impractical rejoinders. His use of bestial pinheads is pathetic. Which brings me to my next criticism of Can't sleep the clown will eat me. I wish I could say this nicely but I don't have much tolerance for sappy bullies: He says that he can ignore rules, laws, and protocol without repercussion. But then he turns around and says that the future of the entire world rests in his hands. You know, you can't have it both ways, Can't sleep the clown will eat me.

I am more than merely surprised by Can't sleep the clown will eat me's willingness to sell us fibs and fear mixed with a generous dollop of factionalism. I'm shocked, shocked. And, as if that weren't enough, Can't sleep the clown will eat me has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter.

I feel that writing this letter is like celestial navigation. Before directional instruments were invented, sailors navigated the seas by fixing their compass on the North Star. However, if Can't sleep the clown will eat me were to trick them into fixing their compass on the wrong star they'd soon be so off-course that they'd actually be willing to help him produce culturally degenerate films and tapes. He is on some sort of thesaurus-fueled rampage. Every sentence Can't sleep the clown will eat me writes is filled with needlessly long words like "roentgenographically" and "antiprestidigitation". Either he is deliberately trying to confuse us or else he's secretly scheming to squander irreplaceable national treasures.

Some people don't seem to mind that Can't sleep the clown will eat me likes to persecute the innocent and let the guilty go unpunished. What a dissolute, destructive world we live in! If my memory serves me correctly, he truly believes that the moon is made of green cheese. I hope you realize that that's just a stultiloquent pipe dream from a biggety pipe and that in the real world, Can't sleep the clown will eat me wants you to believe that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. You should be wary of such claims. Be aware! Be skeptical! Think! Do not be diverted, deceived, or mesmerized by Can't sleep the clown will eat me's ignominious reinterpretations of historic events.

I apologize if the following points are hard to follow but they're quite relevant to the gist of my argument. First, the cliches of Can't sleep the clown will eat me's orations are well-known to us all. And second, money is not the solution to our Can't sleep the clown will eat me problem. All of this means, of course, that there is an unpleasant fact, painful to the tender-minded, that one can deduce from the laws of nature. This fact is also conclusively established by direct observation. It is a fact so obvious that rational people have always known it and no one doubted it until Can't sleep the clown will eat me and his admirers started trying to deny it. The fact to which I am referring states that Can't sleep the clown will eat me should shift for himself. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me begin the debate about Can't sleep the clown will eat me's squibs. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because given the very real threat of Can't sleep the clown will eat me preventing me from sleeping soundly at night it is essential that we put his predatory, unstable smear tactics out to pasture. I challenge him to move from his broad derogatory generalizations to specific instances to prove otherwise.

Spleeny bloodsuckers are sharply focused on an immediate goal: to abet a resurgence of pushy voyeurism. Do not let inflammatory rhetoric and misleading and inaccurate statements decide your position on this issue. In public, Can't sleep the clown will eat me vehemently inveighs against corruption and sin. But when nobody's looking, Can't sleep the clown will eat me never fails to impugn the patriotism of his opponents. A final word: Hon. Can't sleep the clown will eat me is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness. Murela wants an apology.

A rope walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender looks at him and replies, "We don't serve ropes here!" The rope walks outside, ties himself into a knot, messes up his hair, and walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey! Aren't you that rope that was just in here?" The rope turns to the bartender and says, "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

A clown was standing in a kitchen, holding a can of frozen orange juice, staring at it intently. His friend saw this and asked why. The clown answered, "The can says, ‘Concentrate’"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" "Nah. Cannibal Corpse wouldn't think twice about it", replied the other cannibal.

One clown got a job at a circus telling bad jokes like this one, while another clown (his brother) got hired at a watch factory. Since then all they've ever done is made faces.