User:Capt. James W. Cook

Capt. James W. Cook, most well known as Captain James Cook, was very busy in the UK when drinking a cup of tea while watching England play cricket n the rain. Later on, Cook discovered "The Land Down Under" while sailing with a bunch of prisoners. He was awaited with a barbecue and Vegemite on toast served by Kangaroos, Wallabies and Drop Bears (extremely dangerous creatures who are disguised as Koalas, as proven by National Geographic*) while watching his prisoners play Soccer (Aussie Football). Anyway, he had a holiday in Sydney, getting a tan, when he got bored and scooted off to Hawaii where he got eaten alive (over a fire).

The truth is, that last bit IS NOT TRUE. Do you seriously think he would do that? He actually made friends with the Hawaiians them sailed off to America in 1800 to be awaited by a stack of gigantic hamburgers and stacks of fries while watching a game of baseball. After finally finishing a big hamburger (it took 150 years, it is now 1950), he joined NASA in a secret space program that started the Space Race. The Captain created a new identity under the name of "Neil Armstrong" (he liked to think he had big muscles) and joined Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins. James Cook was actually not only the first British person on step on Australian soil, he was also the first Brit to step on the moon!

After his 231 years of exhausting holidays, Captain Cook settled down and used the new modern technology. He bought a TV with Netflix and Foxtel and Stan, an Xbox, a PC and an iPhone. He is now a popular Minecraft streamer on YouTube, Mixer and other popular streaming applications. In 2018, his Fortnite stream became viral when he leaked a Season 12 outfit of himself, Captain James Cook! His YouTube account is called "Captain.C.Playz". If he gets 1 million subscribers, he will do an epic face reveal.

Anyway, this article can be summarized into one sentence (down below):

I made it all up, but maybe some of it is true...


 * https://www.australiangeographic.com.au/news/2013/04/drop-bears-target-tourists-study-says/