User:Carali0128/Wintu/RedEpsilon117 Peer Review

General info
Carali0128
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:User:Carali0128/Wintu
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):Wintu

Evaluate the drafted changes
The changes to the introduction look good! The added depth about the four major groups is a major improvement over the vague list on the original article. The one change I might suggest is moving the sentence about their trading preferences down to the Culture section, as it feels slightly out of place in this paragraph.

The additions to the History section might need some small revision. Specifically, the last sentence may need to be reworked to fit a more neutral tone or to make it clearer that the California gold rush was one of the main factors for conflict between settlers and the Wintu. It may be helpful to look at how specific groups of the Wintu responded to these challenges from settlers, such as the Nomlaki or River Patwin which were mentioned in the introduction.

It also seems that most of the citations are missing in this draft. The only in-text citation that seems to have been added is attached to the Introduction header; it would be much more effective for readers wanting to research this topic if it were attached to the specific pieces pulled from this source, rather than applying it to the entire introduction in general.

I really like your expansion of the Culture section! Your explanations of the cultural identities and beliefs that the Wintu people held is a vast improvement on the original. Some pieces still need be to fleshed out a little more, though. You mention "unique customs" in the middle of the first paragraph; it would be great to get some examples. It would also be nice to see some more references and citations.

I do wonder if the second and third paragraphs in the Culture section might be more suited to their own separate heading, as it seems to deal more with daily life and infrastructure than specifically cultural elements, such as traditional dances or beliefs. Again, that last sentence in the third paragraph may need to be revised to better fit the neutral/balanced tone.

As for images and visuals, I think it would be really cool to have some examples of Wintu art to go along with the culture section. It may also be beneficial to see if the Wintu people have an official seal or icon, as many Native Tribes do, which could be a better lead image for the article.