User:Carali25/Clinton 12/DorkyPotatoGang Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Carali25


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Carali25/Clinton_12?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Does not exist currently, it is a branch off of the Clinton Highschool (Clinton, Tennessee) article.
 * Link: Clinton High School (Clinton, Tennessee)

Evaluate the drafted changes
 Lead 

Obviously your lead is very bare bones at the moment, considering it is two sentences. I will say that the lead sentence does get right to the point and tell you what the Clinton 12 are. I would suggest adding the date that this occurred in that first sentence or in the following sentence. Your next sentence gives the significance of the topic. You left a note that you will be adding more information and citations. I suggest that you note something about the violence and protests that occurred surrounding the school. The lead needs to pull in content from the whole article, think abstract. You got this!

Content

Again the content is leaving much to desire, but you have bones that you have lots of potential to add to. Your background is quite developed, I suggest to add in-text links to other wikis for topics or things the reader may not know or may want more information on. Such as Brown v. Board, Anderson county, Clinton High school, etc. They just really help pull an article together I think. The rest of your body needs work, but this doesn't have to be a ton of work. I would look back to the Clinton highschool page and see if you can pull anything from there and expand. You are making a new article, but it isn't isolated. This is a small thing, but the third sentence where you say unfortunately injects a bit of emotion, making it a little not neutral. I totally agree that it is unfortunate, but you can just cut it and say they were denied admission. Cite Cite Cite!

 Tone & Balance & Organization 

There is a current imbalance, in the Background. That is okay right now though, it actually is good considering it will help build out. Keep that neutral angle. I think the current line of thought works.

 Images 

I think some images could be a goodadditions. photos of the school after bombing. protest, the 12 if there is a photo etc.