User:Carleyiscool3

Bio
I am a young adult living in the Pacific Northwest. I used to live in Eastern Oregon but by far the Pacific Northwest is better in my opinion. The rain keeps everything so green and pretty and it doesn't get to hot. I love to dance, play other sports like basketball, and go on hikes exploring the beautiful place I live. I am currently a first year student at Everett Community College, I'm not exactly sure yet where my life will take me but I am excited to find out.

I have used Wikipedia in classes throughout high school. I have never edited anything on Wikipedia but I am excited to get started doing so. I think it is really cool that everyone has the chance to edit things. So far I haven't created any pages but if I do create a page it will most likely be on musicians, actors, or t.v. shows, I know a lot about those types of things and in my opinion could start a pretty good page.

Article Critique
I really enjoy listening to country music and I always have. I heard this song called "Take Back Home Girl" by Chris Lane a while back and I really liked it. I didn't know much about Chris Lane though so I went to Wikipedia and searched for Chris Lane's page so maybe I could learn more about him. When I visited the Chris Lane page on Wikipedia I found three aspects worth commenting on: its structure and completeness, its grammar/voice, and its citations.

Structure and completeness
I noticed that other country singers Wikipedia pages such as Luke Bryan's are more complete and have a better structure. On Chris Lane's page his early life and career are kind of combined into one section whereas on Luke Bryan's page his early life and information about his career are under separate headings and not combined. Chris Lane has been an active musician since 2012 so there should be a lot more information about him but the article seems incomplete and could use some work. This article is based mainly on his albums, songs, and music videos there really isn't a lot about his life and even though it does say how he got to where he is right now there should still be a lot more structure to his page.

Grammar/voice
There are some grammar mistakes in this article that could have been easily avoided. The language is pretty informal, the article sounds as if the person who wrote knew Chris Lane. The article is made of a bunch of lists and even in the paragraph about his career it has lists in it, the paragraph looks like it has a lot to it because of how many words are used but it's just a paragraph full of lists. The grammar and the voice of the article could be improved and just be doing that the article could be so much better. It seems that whoever wrote the page to begin with was in a hurry and didn't take a long time to care enough about how it sounds or what the grammar and sentence structure is. The article could be improved just by fixing the grammar/voice and sentence structure.

Summary
Overall the Chris Lane page is okay but it's not very complete. It seems like the page could use some work it isn't very complete and the structure isn't that great. The grammar could use some work there are just some simple flaws and the voice should be a little more formal. Lastly the citations need to be more organized and need to be with the sentences and things that it makes sense to be with because right now it seems they are kind of just randomly put there. I think if those three things were fixed or even just improved a little bit that the article could be so much more improved.

(I made an edit to the first two sentences in the article)