User:Carrington24/Capital punishment in the United States/AZRG Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Group 5


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Carrington24/Capital_punishment_in_the_United_States?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Capital punishment in the United States

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * For the first statistic, I would perhaps also mention the percent of African Americans in the United States, might help readers realize the disparity.
 * I would remove the word "actually" from the second sentence.
 * Overall, I would review the syntax of the Among races section.
 * It may be worthwhile to name some of the states as examples in the first paragraph of the racial history section.
 * The first and second sentence of the second paragraph under Racial History almost appear repetitive to me.
 * The last sentence of the second paragraph under Racial History could be better phrased
 * In the first paragraph under Discrimination in Mass Incarceration and Capital Punishment it might be of use to the reader if there was a comparison between the percentage of Black men in the US population and the percentage of Black men that make up the US prison population, in order to make the disparity more apparent
 * The last paragraph of the draft is a good jumping off point to expand more on the factors that lead to mass incarceration and how it affects Black men the most