User:Cassierodrique/Masooma Ranalvi/Eb5406a Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

KhushiRamnani and Cassierodrique


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * User:Cassierodrique/Masooma Ranalvi


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * No current version exists.

Evaluate the drafted changes
Lead:

I do not think there is a lead written.

Content:

All the content is up to date and relevant to the topic of FGM. I do not think that there is anything missing, but I think including some dates (if that information is available) would be helpful to create a timeline.

Tone and Balance:

The article does have a neutral tone, and I do not see any biases or persuasion trying to sway the reader. I think you guys did a really great job of maintaining this neutral tone by saying phrases like "her agenda is to..." or "their mission is to..." to make sure that information was properly attributed to others.

Sources and References:

All the links work, but some of them are from a database that is licensed by American University, so I'm not sure if others will be able to access those. The content accurately reflects information from the sources, and I think you guys also did a great job of incorporating the information without too closely paraphrasing or plagiarism. Some of the sources are from the WeSpeakOut and SAHIYO websites, another is from Masooma Ranalvi herself, plus a magazine article.

Organization:

The content is concise and easy to read. The headings break down the main ideas, and I do not see any grammatical or spelling errors.

"For New Articles Only"

I think that the article does meet the notability requirements of 2-3 reliable secondary sources. The article written by Ranalvi is a primary source, but since it is about her life story and experience I think that it is appropriate (might need to check with the Prof about that). It follows similar patterns to other articles, but I do suggest adding in the hyperlinks to related articles so that it is more discoverable.

Overall Impressions:

Hello Khushi and Cassie! I really enjoyed reading your article, and I think you guys did a really great job! Most of my suggestions are minor additions like dates or incorporating links, but overall it was well written and I learned a lot of new information!