User:Cawalker18/sandbox

Rough draft:

The article being edited is Abeokuta Women's Revolt

'''The Abeokuta Women’s Revolt was a resistance movement led by the Abeokuta Women’s Union (AWU) in the late 1940s against the imposition of unfair taxation by the Nigerian colonial government. The women of Abeokuta believed that, under colonialism, their economic roles were declining, while their taxes were increasing. Additionally, they argued that until they were granted representation in local government, they should not be required to pay taxes separately from men. As a result of their protests, four women received seats on the local council, and the taxation of women was ended. '''

Shedden suggestions: With the exception of needing to place a few periods at the end of sentences properly, this shows some nice improvement over the previous version.

Early Colonialism
Located in southwest Nigeria and inhabited by the Yoruba, Abeokuta was established in 1830 and was primarily home for the Egba and Owu people. Around 1850, the British colonial government began to extend its control into Abeokuta and to negotiate treaties with the native Egba. The treaty agreement granted the British open trade routes through the Egba territory "in exchange for the Lagos government’s recognition of the town’s independence and borders." This treaty gave the Egba people relative autonomy over their own economics, but ultimately, the British government found a means to intervene in the autonomous structure after a political crisis in 1897. The British government demanded a reorganization of the town’s political structure, and thus, the Egba United Government (EUG) was created. Prior to the new structure, local councils traditionally included at least one female. The EUG, by contrast, was exclusively male, but began developing Abeokuta's political and economic infrastructure. The EUG invested in the infrastructure and the economy, building roads and markets and increasing exports of items such as cocoa, palm oil, kola nuts, and indigo-dyed cloth. By the late 1800s, Abeokuta had emerged as an economic center in colonial Nigeria and remained relatively independent.

Shedden suggestions: You need to get some more citations in here, particularly after quotes. Feel free to use the same citation multiple times. Watch for overuse of the term "structure". The sentence that begins "It invested" is slightly awkward.

Origins of Taxation in Abeokuta
It was not until the outbreak of World War I in 1914 that the colonial government gained ground in the disruption of Abeokuta’s relative independence. The town became fully incorporated into the colonial state. After the incorporation of Abeokuta, colonial officials faced difficulties with a significant decline in revenue. The war spurred the increase of import duties so as to offset the cost of the government's increased export duties. Ultimately, the export duties became insufficient so colonial officials requested the colonial office to allow the imposition of direct taxation, but they refused. In order to alleviate the decline in revenue, local officials began imposing sanitary fines, which largely affected farm and market women. '''These fines were for violations such as failing to sweep the outside of women's houses. Court summonses for these sanitary fines were not distributed to men'''. Eventually, the fines were found to be illegal and were abolished. They were then replaced by flat taxes on women, because of the economic need for revenue from women. On 1 January 1918, Abeokuta residents began paying taxes. From the tax proposal’s inception, Egba women were considered separately from the men. The taxation of women was not within the standard model of taxation first used by the colonial government in the Northern region. Rather, this model of taxation was influenced by precolonial Yoruba culture, which did not recognize women as different from men, and therefore expected women to generate income independently of men. Since there were no women in the EUG council, the colonial taxation emerged as an instance of taxation without representation. Six months after the imposition of the tax, a revolt occurred in Abeokuta known as the Adubi war. The revolt consisted of thirty thousand rebels destroying much of the railway and telegraphs lines south of Abeokuta along with the murder of a European trading agent and a high-ranking Egba chief. '''After the colonial government quelled the revolt, it made some minor structural and collection changes, but did not remove the tax on women. ''' Shedden suggestions: Again, be sure to include enough citations. Your second half doesn't have any and includes quotes. Both quotes are a little too long. Consider breaking this paragraph up into at least two paragraphs. What do you mean by "sanitary fines"?
 * I don't know where these quotes came from and therefore need to remove them, reword them, and figure out where the information came from so that it can be cited

Article Evaluation: Content- The article being evaluated is "Revolutionary Song." Nearly every country mentioned has little more than a sentence- there is almost no elaboration on what the songs are, their origins, or why they are important. The section on North Korea does not have any information at all, nor does the Russian Revolution. Additionally, while the psychology section has potential to be relevant, there is not enough information included for it to actually achieve relevance. There is another page titled "Music and politics" which is a broader category of the same basic topic, which somewhat takes away from the the relevance of the article as whole. The two articles could be independently important if this page had more information on the specifics of the term "revolution." The article also focuses merely on the leftist view on revolution. Additionally, it includes "Protest song" which is much broader than revolution. The article lacks information on the Portuguese Revolution, which had a highly significant revolutionary song. It is also missing anything on the Arab Spring. The organization is largely nonsensical- perhaps putting the countries in alphabetical order, chronological order, or sorted by region would help. There are no citations at all in the first two paragraphs, and past that they are highly limited. Tone- This article does not appear to be intentionally biased, but there are only left wing revolutions mentioned. The separation of "counter-revolution" is questionable, and the use of "most" claims without evidence is problematic. Very few views are represented at all because of the lack of information, and ideally each would included both sides of how every song was viewed. Sources- There are very few citations. Citation 10 is plagiarized. Other citations do not seem to fit.Cawalker18 (talk) 17:52, 8 February 2019 (UTC)

Potential resource bibliography: Potential Source 1- Ransome Kuti, Fumilayo. (2001). In H. Rappaport, Encyclopedia of women social reformers. Santa Barbara, CA: ABC-CLIO. Retrieved from https://login.proxy.eckerd.edu:5443/login?url=https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/abcwsr/ransome_kuti_fumilayo/0?institutionId=3772

Potential Source 2- Alanamu, T. (2018). Church Missionary Society evangelists and women's labour in nineteenth-century Abéọ̀ kúta. Africa: The Journal of the International African Institute 88(2), 291-311. Cambridge University Press. Retrieved February 22, 2019, from Project MUSE database.

Potential Source 3- FAWOLE, A. O., HUNYINBO, K. I. and FAWOLE, O. I. (2008), Prevalence of violence against pregnant women in Abeokuta, Nigeria. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, 48: 405-414. doi:10.1111/j.1479-828X.2008.00868.x

Potential Source 4- Byfield, J. (2012). Gender, Justice, and the Environment: Connecting the Dots. African Studies Review, 55(1), 1-12. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/41804124

Potential Source 5- RANSOME-KUTI, Funmilayo. (2006). In N. C. Brockman, An African Biographical Dictionary (2nd ed.). Amenia, NY: Grey House Publishing. Retrieved from https://login.proxy.eckerd.edu:5443/login?url=https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/ghabd/ransome_kuti_funmilayo/0?institutionId=3772