User:Cbolog123/sandbox

Social Media and the Effects on the American Adolescent (adding to page) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_Media_and_the_Effects_on_American_Adolescent#cite_note-3

Additions to introduction:

According to the Social comparison theory, people establish their personal value by comparing themselves to others and seeing where they fall on the social ladder in relation to those to which they are comparing. There is a study that has shown that regardless of making an “upward” or “downward” comparison, determining if one is better or worse than the one they are comparing themselves to, one will feel worse than they did before making either comparison. These social comparisons and related jealousy, paired with the addictive nature of social media platforms, leads to the development of symptoms of depression in users2.

PEER REVIEW BY GERARDO MILANO:

'''- This is a good contribution to this Wikipedia article. However, since the article talks about both the positive and negative aspects of social media, It would be beneficial to include it under "Negative Aspects of Social Media" rather than in the introduction. The author needs to remember to include the citations.'''

- The author can mention the Social Comparison theory in the introduction and develop in under negative aspects.

Additions to Negative Aspects of Social Media:

Additions to first paragraph—

The average teen is spending approximately nine hours a day on social media platforms. Not only is there a positive correlation between time spent on social media networks and mental health state, but there is also a concern with the number of platforms utilized. Those who use multiple social media platforms are more likely to develop mood alterations. However, there is also the argument that young adults who are already battling depression may be using social media networks more than unaffected individuals.

PEER REVIEW BY GERARDO MILANO:

- '''This section is closely repeating what the original article says. Therefore, the author could, instead of writing the same, include more details that can support the idea already written on the article.'''

- '''The content could be developed more i.e. the author could easily find a bunch of sources talking about this topic that could support their point on how social media affects depression and mood alterations. This is a very interesting topic that a lot of people will be searching for online, so thinking about how good of an impact the author could make on this article would be very helpful.'''

- '''The idea is good but getting into more details is something that I'd recommend the author to do. How does your mood change? What are the types of alterations could adolescents experience? The more specific the author is, the better.'''

Physical Reactions to Social Media:

Additions to second paragraph—

Facebook depression occurs when people who spend a significant amount of time on social media platforms develop symptoms of depression. There are some researchers who believe that the “Facebook depression” phenomenon is a gateway to other sites that will ultimately put teens and young adults at risk for a number of dangers5. The sites that teens and young adults are led to can teach its lonely viewers about substance abuse, unsafe sexual practices, and aggressive or destructive behaviors5. However, some researchers suggest that these sites aren’t teaching its readers how to practice safety, rather they are teaching them how to perform these acts of harm5.

PEER REVIEW BY GERARDO MILANO:

- '''This is point is very informative and specific. When adding this to the second paragraph, the author can add a transitioning sentence so that the reader knows the author is about to talk about the Facebook depression.'''

- Overall, the author's idea could be much more positive if it's developed more i.e., adding more specific details mentioned by researchers, etc.

- The author should also start including their contribution in the actual article so that they can get feedback from other users.