User:Ccrisp/sandbox

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Parents rarely discuss death and dying with their children who are medically fragile. I have learned from both personal and professional experience that these conversations are often left unsaid, leaving both the parent and the child in distress.

In the past year, my daughter has had 4 hospitalizations, one near cardiac arrest, and one full cardiac arrest. After she awakened after each of the events, she told me about visiting with her grandfather and older sister in heaven. She also told me that Grandpa and Jesus had told her that she needed to come home to mommy, because it was not time for her to stay with them yet. This gave my daughter and I an opening to begin a discussion about dying. Chances that my daughter will live to a nice long age are very slight due to the extreme nature of her medical issues. Therefore, I think it is essential to begin preparing both of us for that eventuality. I find a great deal of comfort in knowing that my daughter is unafraid of dying, because she knows that Grandpa, Jesus, and her sister will be coming to take her with them. I have also let her know that when the time comes, she needs to leave, and that I will be alright.

I know firsthand how difficult these discussions can be, but I have also experienced their importance.

There is a remarked paucity of studies regarding communication with dying children, but some of those studies have indicated that children want to know what is going on with them and want to actively participate in their healthcare decisions.