User:Ccwonders/Société des arts technologiques/Ccwonders Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

I am reviewing the work of: COMS423Wikiinfo


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utilisateur:COMS423Wikiinfo/Société_des_arts_technologiques


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * https://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Société_des_arts_technologiques

Evaluate the drafted changes
The article reviewed is a translation from the French wikipedia page on the Société des Arts Technologiques to English, with added content.

Lead: I found the lead complete and straightforward, mentioning all the basic information needed to understand what the SAT is and what the organization's goal is. Since the article mentions “immersive experiences, collaborations and programs”, maybe the lead could include a short sentence giving information on the type of activities they are involved in.

Content: The content added is relevant to the topic as it includes exhibitions, events and experiences that happened at the SAT and a software developed for the SAT. Moreover, the content added mentions an event that occurred in June 2020 which makes it up-to-date as it was less than a year ago. I think there might be content missing since a lot of events and projects took place at the SAT in the past or are ongoing at the moment. However, there is a lot of things that can be said about the SAT and writing all of it would take a considerable amount of time. I found two topics that could be talked about in a near future that seemed interesting to add. The first one would be the FoodLab (which sounds very interesting) and the other one is a project they undertook with Orchestre Symphonique de Montréal. There is also this new immersive web platform called Hub Satellite by their Symposium iX platform that sounded nice to learn about (more information on this topic can be found here) - The Symposium iX platform was also launched in 2014 according to their website, so this info could be added to the part you wrote on this platform. Lastly, I think that the Collective Reality exhibition and the IX Immersion Experience referred to in the Immersive Experiences section could be explained a little bit more, so that we know what these exhibitions are about. The Artists-in-Resistance Program is also mentioned in the content added but I can't seem to find information about it.

Tone and balance: The tone is neutral. The information is very factual which is good. There are no viewpoints more represented than others. The translation from French to English was also well executed.

Sources and Referencing: Sources added are good. One is from La Gazette and is from July 2020 which is both reliable and up-to-date. Another one is from an academic article from Grandadam et al. which is also a reliable source. Same goes for the reference number 10 which is also an academic article. However, reference number 3 (Alain Hochereau, Objectif SAT 2010) is no longer available. I think some references that were put there when the original article was written need to be reviewed... for instance, the reference number 6: "966 600$ pour la Société des Arts Technologiques" redirects me toward another article that does not seem to mention the SAT: here. I believe the sources are indeed reliable but that some of the ones that were used to write the French page of SAT on Wikipedia back then need to be reviewed and changed.

Organization: Content very clear, concise and easy to read. Sections are well divided as well. There are not a lot of grammar errors: at some point the Immersive Experiences section says "An event focuses around the Symposium" but I think it was meant to say "An event focusing around the Symposium". Also, it is written Society for Technological Arts in the Lead but then in the Immersive Experiences section the organization is written as Society of Arts and Technology. The syntax in the Immersive Experiences section, second paragraph sounds a bit odd to me. I would write "Some events" instead of "Just some events". The syntax is a bit misleading where the article says "LightTwist software was installed by Sebastian Croy in 2004, this made possible the ‘spatial experimentation’ of..." - Instead of this made possible, I would write "which made possible"... or divide the sentence in two sentences to keep it this way.

Overall Impressions: I do believe the added content improved the overall quality of the article, since the article did not really refer to exhibitions and projects undertaken by the SAT. The content added is very factual which is good. It includes a lot of projects and this makes the article interesting as I wanted to learn more about them. I think a short note on what some projects are could be interesting to add. This way we would understand what it is instead of only read the projects' names. Also, it is a great thing that this article was translated to English as it allows more people worldwide to know about this organization.