User:Celisp/Ehattesaht First Nation/Andrewbn2003 Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?

Celisp


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Celisp/Ehattesaht_First_Nation?veaction=edit&preload=Template%3ADashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template


 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Ehattesaht First Nation

Evaluate the drafted changes
(Compose a detailed peer review here, considering each of the key aspects listed above if it is relevant. Consider the guiding questions, and check out the examples of what feedback looks like.)

Lead
The Lead was composed concisely and had adequate information to serve as a brief introduction of the overall topic. The only areas I would point out are some grammatical errors (between "October 2021" and "with" of the second sentence), but this is just a first draft. I would also add a hyperlink to another Wikipedia article on the location.

Content
For the History section, I would reorganize it a little bit differently. Language itself can be a subheading under culture as it talks about the modern day population that could speak the language. The second paragraph could be moved to another section or be a subheading. The description of the language and what it is defined as fits under the history, so no change is needed there.

I would suggest adding more information about the reservations and boarding schools talked about in the 4th paragraph, probably more citations as I don't see any there. You could add any important figures that belong to the tribe, if that exists somewhere. As part of their history, are there any origin stories or other historical accounts of their tribe? I know sources can be limited, but it would be interesting to add those details as well.

For the Culture section, I felt that all the details here fit along the lines of describing their culture. I would suggest some details about clothing, food, activities, types of housing, etc. Maybe even breaking it down to more subheadings to separate the different cultural aspects of the tribe.

For the Government section, all the details here were solid and had citations. I would include descriptions of leaders and names of different leadership positions, organizations, and a breakdown of their government structure.

I like how you included a COVID-19 section! Were there any numbers on covid cases published by the government? If so, statistics would be a good addition.

Tone
Overall, the tone remained neutral. There is no persuasion or argument here, most of the details provided here have a factual and informational purpose. I would only suggest going over some grammar checks and fixing some sentences.

Organization
The organization of the article so far is pretty well done. It follows logically, I would just add more subheadings for particular topics. For example, Language can be a subheading under Culture or History or both depending on what information you have and want to include. Government can be broken down to specific branches and positions.

Images and Media
Only one photo was used and it was properly cited and linked. I would suggest more photos depicting their culture, like dressing and clothes, ceremonies, activities, settlements and towns, etc. The more you can paint a picture of what their culture looks like, it would be greatly beneficial.

Closing Thoughts
Overall, this is a good first draft and has more quality information than the original stub. I would definitely recommend adding hyperlinks to other Wikipedia pages when possible to describe terms, locations, and key information (like the location in Canada, potlatches, the court case). Breaking down the sections with more subheadings for better organization would also be a good addition. I'm sure you have already done this, but taking a look at other First Nation Wikipedia pages or Native American pages to see what they've included would also give some more inspiration on what to include.