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Practice Editing Here (Nov 23rd in-class Wiki session work)

 * Heat stroke can be found on wikipedia at Heat stroke
 * Adding a citation here:
 * This is a place to practice clicking the "edit" button and practice adding references (via the citation button).

Assignment # 3

 * Note: You will be emailing your assignment # 3 directly to your tutor, however, please paste a version here that excludes your personal information. This will allow us to support your efforts on Wikipedia prior to editing "live" in the article.

Wikipedia Article Title: Heat Stroke

Proposed Changes

I plan to change sections in the following paragraph in the Treatment section. Once section focuses on the drug Dantrolene. I plan to remove the long sentence explaining the mechanism of Dantrolene and replace it with an alternative sentence. I also plan to remove a chunk of the paragraph that addresses what was “once thought” about heat stroke treatment.

Original Paragraph: Immersion in very cold water was once thought to be counterproductive by reducing blood flow to the skin and thereby preventing heat from escaping the body core. However, this hypothesis has been challenged in experimental studies, as well as by systematic reviews of the clinical data, indicating that cutaneous vasoconstriction and shivering thermogenesis do  not play a dominant role in the decrease in core body temperature brought on by cold water immersion. This can be seen in the effect of submersion hypothermia, where the body temperature decrease is directly related to environmental temperature, and though bodily defenses slow the decrease in temperature for a time, they ultimately fail to maintain endothermic homeostasis. Dantrolene, a direct-acting paralytic which abolishes shuddering and is effective in many other forms of hyperthermia, including centrally-, peripherally- and cellularly-mediated thermogenesis, has no individual or additive effects to cooling in the context of heat stroke, showing a lack of endogenous thermogenic response to cold water immersion. Thus, aggressive ice-water immersion remains the gold standard for life-threatening heat stroke.

Paragraph with proposed changes: Immersion in very cold water was once thought to be counterproductive by reducing blood flow to the skin and thereby preventing heat from escaping the body core. However, research has shown that this mechanism does not play a dominant role in the decrease in core body temperature brought on by cold water. Ice and cold water immersion is the most efficient cooling method.. Dantrolene, a muscle relaxant used to treat other forms of hyperthermia, is not an effective treatment for heat stroke. (new citation). Aggressive ice-water immersion remains the gold standard for life-threatening heat stroke.

Rationale for Changes

The beginning of this paragraph is difficult to follow and unnecessary for the Treatment section. It focuses on what was “once thought” of the treatment rather than the current accepted treatment. Its explanation is filled with jargon and is not at the appropriate 8th grade level that Wikipedia requires its information. It uses citations of original research studies (18, 19), which are primary sources. Wikipedia articles should be based on reliable secondary sources. The paragraph contains a sentence (italicized above) that has no source.

The sentence discussing how dantrolene is not an effective treatment for heat stroke is long and filled with medical jargon. This confusing explanation of the mechanism of dantrolene is not needed in this article as it is not a treatment for this specific condition. The source is also outdated so I found a more recent review article that indicates Dantrolene is not clearly effective in the treatment of heat stroke.

What to post on the talk page?

 * This will also be covered on Nov 23rd in class. Your group should use the below template to share an outline of your proposed improvements (including your new wording and citations). Article talk pages are not places to share your assignment answers. The Wikipedia community will be more interested in viewing your exact article improvement suggestions including where you plan to improve the article (which section), what wording you suggest, and the exact citation (Note: all citations must meet WP:MEDRS)
 * You will not be able to paste citations directly from your sandbox to talk pages (unless you are interested in editing/learning Wiki-code in the "source editing" mode). We suggest re-adding your citations on the talk page manually (using the cite button and populating the citation by pasting in the DOI, website, or PMID). You will have to repeat this process yet again when you edit the actual article live.
 * Talk Page Template: CARL Medical Editing Initiative/Fall 2020/Talk Page Template