User:CharlieFarrell74/Misogyny in sports/Kaykrag Peer Review

General info
(provide username)
 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes

 * First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that describes the subject in a clear way?
 * The authors did a very great job of using reliable, scholarly sources to conduct their research. They backed up their argument with facts based on studies and interviews using a variety of sources. The authors also did a great job of making sure that this article was solely informational, as it did not feel opinionated. This was also a strong concluding sentence to end the paragraph: “This added to the unequal power dynamic between coaches and female players that could lead to sexual harassment.” The article was very concise and they used great examples to further the argument, while still arguing in a professional, non biased way. It was also structured very well, they wrote the paragraphs in a nice order, allowing one idea to build off of another.


 * What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?
 * I would suggest making less use of quotes, while they give a strong argument and a good source of information, certain quotes can be paraphrased and having too many quotes takes away from the actual article itself.
 * Expand on this sentence: “This turned many previously volunteer women's sports coaching jobs into paid coaching positions which made them more attractive.” Give some explanation as to why it made them ‘more attractive’; a bit confusing.
 * What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article? The most important thing that they can do to improve the article would be to expand on certain ideas for more clarity and make less use of direct quotes when they are unnecessary.
 * Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know! I will definitely be making use of the non argumentative aspect of this article. I am going to try to implement their use of language into my article, allowing it to be strictly informational.