User:CharlieFarrell74/Misogyny in sports/Ssonalis Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?


 * Link to draft you're reviewing:
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists):

Evaluate the drafted changes
'''First, what does the article do well? Is there anything from your review that impressed you? Any turn of phrase that described the subject in a clear way?'''

The group does a really good job of keeping their article very factual and has lots of sources to back up their points. The sources that they use are either from credible websites or scholars at universities. Also, they include studies and stories about sexual harassment and not just statistics. The article is very informative and I like how they included information about Title IX.

'''What changes would you suggest the author apply to the article? Why would those changes be an improvement?'''

I would change the name of the article to sexual assault and harassment in sports because that is what the group talks mostly about. There is one part in the third paragraph that discuses misogyny and inequality, but nothing really besides that. A minor thing that I noticed is that the roman numeral in Title IX is wrong. A question that I have is what is the distinction between the bolded and unbolded parts? I personally would move the part about Larry Naser in the section where the article talks about sexual abuse from coaches in the third paragraph for a better flow.

What's the most important thing the author could do to improve the article?

Something that could help improve the article would be adding another real story about sexual abuse in sports. I think it would balance out the article a little more. Also as I mentioned before, I would move the story that they already have up in the article. Another thing that I think could help is breaking up some of the paragraphs because they are quite long and have different ideas within them.

'''Did you notice anything about the article you reviewed that could be applicable to your own article? Let them know!'''

In our article, we could definitely add more sources to back up our facts and also give a more generalized view of beauty standards in society, not only focusing on the movie. Also, we should make the article more neutral because I do think that there is still a lingering negative tone.