User:Chaseshea/sandbox

Article Evaluation: Twilight (Meyer Novel)

 * The introduction to the novels could use some work. The first sentence does a good job at explaining the book's overview, but goes into some more specific points that should really only be mentioned within certain subsections.  In particular, when it begins the discussion regarding the public perception of the novel.  This should be found somewhere else.
 * Within the plot section of the article, the writer completely fails to cite any sort of source at all. Regardless of if these are original thoughts, they should come with citations so that the reader may reference them if needed.  However, the information found within this section seems to be a good representation of the plot.
 * The list of main characters is lacking in the fact that it only contains a small list of characters. There are at least 5 more that are crucial to the story line and should be included within this section.  However, they did a decent allocation of information depending on the importance of the character.
 * The publication section seemed to be written well. They explain the publisher, its viewpoint, and the history behind its relationship with the Twilight series.  They also include relevant citations that provide the reader with good resources.
 * The explanation regarding the film could use some work as well. There are only about three lines of information, all encompassing a 2.5 hour movie.
 * The award and honors sections should be better explained. While it mentions awards won, it fails to explain positive reception of the novel as written in private articles.  Meanwhile, there is a very large section in support of critical reception.  These two should have more of a balance.

Article Evaluation: Drama
Genre & Style


 * First paragraph: at the end of this paragraph, the way the term "successfully" is used implies opinion.  This could be rewritten in the eye of the critic to avoid this
 * Second paragraph: the second sentence fails to acknowledge the source (other than in the citation) making the tone sound opinionated
 * Third paragraph: the last sentence contains a grammatical error.  The placement of a comma in the middle of the sentence implies that the two separate parts are independent clauses (when they are not)
 * The section as a whole is misnamed and implies that a reader will be reading about how the novel fits into the genre of graphic novels and how the visuals support the plot. Instead, half of it achieves this goal while the other half discusses characters more specifically.

Background


 * First three sentences sound repetitive
 * The section seems to be misnamed. A more appropriate title could be "Author's Inspirations"

Wrinkle in Time (2018 film): Structuring Evaluation
Pros


 * Correctly includes all major sections
 * Sections are displayed in a cohesive and well-flowing order
 * Also include other important sections that can be seen as relevant for the reader (example: Music)
 * Did a great job at avoiding spoilers within the Plot Synopsis. They did this while still summarizing the whole movie which can prove very challenging
 * Listed the cast properly without including any particular details that would draw away from the point of the section
 * Was effective when describing critical reception and box office numbers. Provided many sources and reliable websites that indicate the profitability of the film.  Remained unbiased when describing the position that specific scholars have taken on the film
 * Provides a detailed InfoBox including all relevant information

Cons


 * Includes too many details about production within the Lead Section. This should be within the Production Section
 * Plot Section: does not give enough insight as to who Calvin O'Keefe is. His place within his school and his interaction with Meg deserves more recognition
 * Stated "The decision received positive sentiments in the media industry," within the Production section without providing a source or information to back up this argument
 * Could include more details within the Production section: fails to recognize anything noteworthy that may have happened during production, any quotations from directors or crew, as well as the thought process behind production details
 * Within the Music article, would be important to include the list of songs regardless of the presence of a link to the soundtrack. Music plays a critical role in movies and this deserves more conversation
 * Failed to include more balanced opinions within the Reception section. While negative receptions may outweigh positive receptions, the article completely unacknowledged any positive reviews other than within the accolades section (which is less subjective and provides less information about why it won these awards)

Article Evaluation: Enriquillo

 * The first thing I noticed about this article is the lack of information that can be found on the page. It only contains three sections and each section is very limited in terms of the information that is provided.
 * In terms of the facts/history that is there, it fails to provide citations in order for the reader to revert back to where the original information came from.
 * Not all of the facts seem relevant, and if they are relevant it would be important to include more information as to why they are relevant.
 * They include a section about Guarocuya. Before this, he is not mentioned so it seems to be out of no where.  This information would be best used after a deeper explanation of of Enriquillo is and what exactly happened with his revolt.
 * The two last sections each only hold one sentence. If it is believed that they are deserving of their own section, it would be important to include more information about them and why they are relevant to the bigger picture.

Article Evaluation: Persepolis (comic)

 * The first section of the article covers a ton of facts about Persepolis including its publishing history, sales history, and translations. However, some of these facts seem misplaced, and could especially fit better within the background section of the article.
 * The first section also discusses the controversy surrounding both of the books. However, these could be found in their own sections seeing as they are extremely important to the relevance of the graphic novels as a whole.
 * The background section does not include information and context for the motivations about its writing. Instead, it talks more about the summary and the genre rather than details about the author and their intentions.
 * The summary of each of the summary sections lack any citations. While it is possible that the editor of this page wrote this using original ideas, it is important to include outside resources that a reader can refer back to for more information.
 * The setup for the character list is also confusing. It would be more beneficial if it was a list of all of the characters, and then a mention about which books they are found in.  The way that it is set up right now does not make it clear which characters are in both Persepolis 1 and Persepolis 2.
 * The genre and style section does a good job at explaining where Persepolis fits in the general genre of graphic novels. It dives more into detail about the details of how the novels fit in reference to its drawings.
 * The analysis of Persepolis appears to be the most well written section within this article. It uses many citations in order to back up the argument.  It also seems to lack a bias tone, which is exactly how the article should be.  They also discuss the themes of the novel, which are relevant to the analysis.  However, there are many small grammatical errors that could be fixed through tedious editing.
 * The publication history section also provides relevant information that a reader would be interested in knowing. It includes information about the publisher, dates it was published, and its relationship to Satrapi.

Draft One of Contributions to Wikipedia Page

 * From the perspective of Jonah Weiland from Comic Book Resources, the audience of the novel would lean toward women in their late 20s. (add this to the summary section maybe?) (4)
 * Additions to background section:
 * Satrapi chose the name Persepolis, originating from the Ancient Greek term for Iran, in order to convey the message that the current state of Iran comes from thousands of years of background, not just recent hostile events. (4)
 * The influences of Satrapi's past education in Iran and Europe, and specifically German impressionism, can be felt throughout her writings and drawings as well.
 * Throughout both books, she focuses on the idea of "witnessing". Meaning, the motivation behind her writing involves describing her life from the viewpoint of someone viewing political and social chaos.  This displays the "survival" aspect behind Satrapi as a young girl, and eventually young woman within this context. (5)
 * She seeks to create a visual context for not only those from the West, but also those from the Middle-East due to the lack of physical optics for this important time in history. (5)
 * She describes her family as upper-middle class, and even descends from Iran's Qatar Dynasty. Although she does not find this significant, seeing that kings had hundreds of wives and therefore thousands of great-grandchildren. (4)
 * include an image of Satrapi
 * Discussing herself as a "witness" (5)
 * Character list:
 * Both Mr. and Mrs. Satrapi come from a middle class background. This is important to note within the political and social context of their actions, values, and influences on their rebellious daughter. (5)
 * Uncle Anoosh: is Marjane's father's brother. He is executed by the new Islamic revolutionary authorities.  His execution serves as a representation of the millions of activists who were killed under this regime. (5)
 * Marjane: nicknamed Mardi, Marjane's life is depicted beginning with her early childhood. Growing up in Iran during the Iran-Iraq war, Marjane grows up in a family who is involved in the political unrest of Iran.  This influences her world-view of oppression and its consequent rebellion.  Eventually, her family sends her to Vienna in hopes of escaping the unrest of her home. Throughout her journey, she grows and matures while maintaining her rebellious nature. (5)
 * Small edits
 * in sectional summary- change "upper-class" to "middle class"
 * Additions to Feminism in the East:
 * The author [of this specific article] further describes how the veil, also known as the hijab, is utilized by the children as forms of games. Used on the playground and not taken seriously by the young girls including Marjane, this scene alone serves as an example of civil disobedience within her community (5).

Bibliography of Sources for Editing Persepolis Article

 * 1) Crawford, J. (2008, ). Persepolis taps into universal themes; marjane satrapi hopes that her audience see themselves in work. North Shore News Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/361543276?accountid=11091

2. Derakhshani, T. (2009, ). One fine comic book. Philadelphia Inquirer Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/287705238?accountid=11091

3. Gard, G., & Satrapi, M. (2012). Persepolis the story of a childhood. In T. Riggs (Ed.), The literature of war. Farmington, MI, USA: Gale. Retrieved from https://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.credoreference.com/content/entry/galelow/persepolis_the_story_of_a_childhood/0

4. Jones, V. E. (2004, ). A life in graphic detail ; iranian exile's memoirs draw readers into her experience. Boston Globe Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/404932988?accountid=11091

5. Nabizadeh, G. (2016). Vision and precarity in marjane satrapi's persepolis. Women's Studies Quarterly, 44(1/2), 152-167. Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/1790692619?accountid=11091

6. Prager, L. M., MD. (2008). Persepolis: The story of a childhood/persepolis 2: The story of a return. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 47(7), 839. Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/212635812?accountid=11091

7. Ryan, L. T. (2009, ). Marjane satrapi. The Post - Standard Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/325753618?accountid=11091

8. Sun, L. (2017). Critical encounters in a middle school english language arts classroom: Using graphic novels to teach critical thinking & reading for peace education. Multicultural Education, 25(1), 22-28. Retrieved from http://proxy.library.georgetown.edu/login?url=https://search.proquest.com/docview/2007680390?accountid=11091