User:Cheerio2/Vertical integration/Ellaladd Peer Review

General info

 * Whose work are you reviewing?
 * Kate Tran


 * Link to draft you're reviewing
 * https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Cheerio2/Vertical_integration?veaction=edit&preload=Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org_draft_template
 * Link to the current version of the article (if it exists)
 * Vertical integration

Evaluate the drafted changes
I think you made some very valuable edits to this article that definitely helped it flow more. I think the Lead could be a little more specific to what vertical expansion is rather than also incorporating other terms that relate to it. As someone who doesn't know much about vertical expansion, it would have been beneficial for the article to have more of a specific and detailed explanation about what it is. Your topic sentence is very well done and I immediately knew what I was going to be reading about after reading the first sentence. I do think you could've improved on briefly explaining the other topics you plan to hit on in the remainder of your article.

The information you added is relevant to the article topic and up to date. I do think you could rework some of the topic sentences a little more. For example, the second paragraph in the "Vertical Expansion" section doesn't feel like a topic sentence, but more of an extension of the previous paragraph. It would be helpful if each topic sentence gave a simple and precise idea of what the paragraph was about.

You did a very good job with your sources and references. They seem very reliable and are relevant to the topic of the article.

I think the "Selected Examples" section could include a topic paragraph as to why these examples are being included. The examples get a big confusing because some are examples of overall industries while some are examples of specific companies like Apple, so it would be beneficial to better organize this section. Organization wise, I also think some images could be beneficial to help explain your concepts more. Just a chart/diagram or two I think would be very beneficial.

The "Economic Theory" section feels a little bit thrown in. I think it is good to have that section because it helps explain the bigger picture of vertical expansion. Although, I think the article needs more of a conclusion after this to sum everything up.

Overall, you did a very good job at editing this article! You added a lot of information that helped make the article easier to understand as well as helped it flow better.