User:Cheese truth brigade/sandbox/The Cheese Barons

The Cheese Barons are a group of unknown people who are reputed to run sweat shops on the moon processing cheese. The workforce consists of pensioners who have been abducted from earth after their death and brought back to life. An unknown author published the article "WHO ARE THE CHEESE Barons?" that appeared stuffed behind a pipe in a public toilet in London's Victoria station back in 1987. The article was later taken up by the underground press, namely in the popular "WHERE MY HASH YOU TWAT" that was distributed in universities and garden sheds and was reputed to have a following of nearly nine readers. It is unclear what the "Cheese Barons" are up to or even what their game is. Later in 2014 a private detective, Kevin Numbthumb-Smythe, more commonly known as "Knobby the hat shagger" took up the baton and spent a year investigating Eden Vale and mini Babybel - unfortunately Knobby was killed a month later in a messy flan related accident. The suspicious circumstances of his death only served to cement conspiracy theorists views that it was a contract hit by the "Rafia", a shady group employed by the Cheese Barons to carry out their dirty work along with occasional present wrapping duties. As of yet, no clear evidence has come to light regarding the Cheese Baron's goals, but it is widely believed that they are attempting to corner the cheese market and build a network of outlets solely to widen their influence. In 2016, a group of dairy farmers handed in a two hundred name petition to Geoff the barman at the "Udder and Stool" pub in Lower Bumkinsville and held a ten minute demonstration whilst waiting for the pub to open.