User:Chelsearad

"Shark Takes a Leap of Death on Atlantis' Leap of Faith Slide" On December 18th, 2008, at 9:30 a.m. a 12 year old female shark, after months of hard deliberation and depressing thoughts, succeeded in taking its own life. Initially, aquarists say that the shark attempted to use the metal nails on the side of the "Serpent Slide" to cut its fins and bleed to death. Seeming how the nails were not sharp enough, her attempt was a failure. However, this persistent shark did not give up so easily. "We noticed that she had not been eating as much and started hiding in a coral cove alone, usually listening to darker Hootie and the Blowfish songs by herself" said aquarist Ludovic Barkley. "We thought she might just be unhappy about her personal trainer being fired, but now we know that she was clearly showing signs of severe shark depression." A month ago, Atlantis Resort's head executives announced publicly that 800 employees would be laid off, including the reef shark's trainer of her 10 years at the resort. Without her trainer by her side, the shark felt as though she remained a captive, locked inside the crystal depths of Paradise Island's famous resort. Months of preparation led to her fateful dive onto the Leap of Faith slide, but she didn't plot alone. Another shark, which, due to the fact that the lawyers of the deceased shark's family have not yet uncovered enough information to properly convict this male reef shark of leading the female shark to her suicide, is suspected of helping the female shark in her devious plan to jump to her chlorinated death and acted as her accomplice. Since the initial suicide plan of cutting her fins did not work, the shark decided to over dose on the lethal substance chlorine that existed in heavy amounts in the pool that the Leap of Faith slide emptied into, which the shark was well aware of their species low tolerance of the dangerous chemical. But there had to be a man on the outside that could confirm that no hotel guests would be in the pool at the time of the suicide attempt, since the suicidal shark did not want the resort to have its reputation damaged or any visitors to be injured while she was taking her own life. This is where Damien Rogello, the notorious shark-whisperer of the Bahamian village located outside of the Atlantis resort, is accused of informing the suicidal shark of the appropriate time for her to commit the act, which was at 9:30 that particular Thursday morning, because the slide would be running since the water slides were open at that time, however a large majority of the guests would be at the continental breakfast in the Royal Towers that the hotel hosts once a year. With all of these outside factors encouraging her to venture off into the heavenly ocean in the sky, the normally passive shark killed herself by way of waterslide. She will always be remembered, and all those closest to her are encouraged to attend her wake, which will take place in the recently renovated shark tank on the east end of the resort, and to her funeral service, which she chose years before to have half of her body parts sent to the japanese Nobu restuarant as sushi for the hotel to feed to guests and the other half creamated and spread into the waters of the Atlantic ocean, where she wished to be swimming in her whole life. This tragic story will hopefully inspire others to appreciate the shark species and will give scientists more incentive to look into the symptoms of shark depression. Reef shark, your death will not be in vain.